


Moments Measured in Chaos

by MeetTheRoyalMess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (Hinata is actually technically the star god), Alternate Universe - Mythology, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Fluff and Angst, Icarus Kageyama, M/M, Protective Hinata Shouyou, Reincarnation, Sun God Hinata, basically Kageyama escapes a labyrinth then gains wings and a star god bf, doesn't really follow the actual myth though, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24318157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeetTheRoyalMess/pseuds/MeetTheRoyalMess
Summary: The wind whips at his face, his grime stained hair floating in front of his eyes and over his forehead. There’s nothing but a vast expanse of blue before him, smelling of salt and rain. So Tobio does the only logical thing he can think of.He leaps.~And Icarus falls for his sun.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 64
Kudos: 107





	1. How far is the furthest star

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first (posted) Haikyuu work! Honestly, I'm really excited about finally posting this universe I've kinda created in my head.  
> I have a majority of this fic already written so hopefully I can get a posting schedule worked out or something. (It's already around 15k total ahaha).  
> Anyways! Enjoy :)

Kageyama Tobio spends too much of his life wandering in a never-ending labyrinth. Some of the walls are of his own creation—a vain attempt of regaining control—but others are constructed from the ones who imprisoned him. The drone of time whistles past his ears at every turn. How long had he been in here? Centuries more than likely, with every year slipping through his steadfast fingers at every corner turned.

He can’t even recall how he gets into the maze. He knows it’s due to the terminal wrath of a god he managed to anger with his venomous behavior, but the semantics of the situation are lost with the gales of time.

Tobio himself is not a god. He is mortal. Yet, here he remains, in the weaving ebony maze, for generations with no form of sustenance, only fed by the insistence that he _mustn’t stop, even for one moment._ He doesn’t even age, as far as he’s aware.

Sometimes Tobio wonders if the outer world is aware of his existence, of his suffering. The thought is always swiftly thrown from his mind, replaced with a foreboding hopelessness that ebbs into every corner of his consciousness. His thoughts are clouded, regulated to the point of extinction.

Tobio isn’t even sure if there’s anything left of himself. The moment his bare feet connected to the ragged ground within the labyrinth, humanity drained from his bones and failed to replace itself.

He’s a shell, unwanted by any creature.

He’s alone; he’s _cursed_ to be such for the rest of his days.

He’s _nothing._

So he suppresses the remnants of his former self until he’s convinced of his own destiny: an eternity of being plagued by his own exhaustion.

Then, one day, he stumbles upon a contraption. Not a strange sight, the labyrinth is lined with dreams layered in rust and corroded disappointments. However, this one is untarnished. No blemish marrs the ashen exterior. It extends across the rocky path, blocking his path and sinking into the grungy hedge to his left. Thick straps interlace in the middle of two pale…wings?

 _Don’t stop, you mustn’t stop,_ echoes to an allegro beat running through his veins.

Tobio’s pace slows.

 _Keep going, keep going,_ **_keep going_** _._

Tobio halts, despite the war raging between his ears. He can’t hear anything, but that doesn’t stop him from fully inspecting the item set before him.

He reaches, feeling the cool surface of— _definitely_ wings. The material, he notices, is indeed wax, and it only adds to Tobio’s intrigue. How did such an object get here?

Tobio doesn’t know but there is an incessant whisper deep within him that tells him to take the contraption (much to the chagrin of the voice screaming within his head). Without even fully realizing, Tobio takes hold to the object and begins to pull. The wall gives only slightly, not letting its precious item go so easily, Tobio thinks.

_You’re making a mistake._

Another strong tug.

More give.

_Nothing good outside here. Keep walking._

Then another and another and another, until it’s difficult to focus on anything with the protests growing increasingly feral in his mind. It sounds so real, like there could be something next to him and speaking with lips directly on the shell of his ear. _Keep walking_ , it insists.

One last tug for a final effort. The wall collapses in on itself and the contraption is finally released. 

With a hurried precision Tobio didn’t know he had, he wraps the straps of the strange item around himself. He secures it around his thinned torso and the voice within him stills. He releases a breath, letting his head sag against his shoulders.

That’s when Tobio feels something that he’s almost forgotten the existence of.

Tobio feels the glory of the wind and when he turns to the newfound hole in his prison, he finally sees the majesty of the sun.

Tobio’s heart softens.

He races to the gaping space in the place that confined him for so long. He regards it only one second more before tearing his hands at it. All of his attempts to escape using brute force had failed, but now…now he has the leverage he never had before, and the gap grows wider and wider. Before he knows it, there’s enough space for both him and his new wings to fit through.

The wind whips at his face, his grime stained hair floating in front of his eyes and over his forehead.

There’s nothing but a vast expanse of blue before him, smelling of salt and rain.

So Tobio does the only logical thing he can think of.

He _leaps_. And his waxen wings carry him away.

* * *

The fog haunting Tobio’s mind subsides as he enters freefall, face downturned and focused on the ground growing beneath him. Closer and closer, he draws to the Earth and no matter the adjustment he makes, his descent stays its course.

Tobio can’t breathe. The wind dances around him, creeping like a thief to steal the air from his nostrils. Learning to control his newfound wings has to be a swift feat if he wants to survive. Death approaches him equally as quick, though far less sly.

Tobio’s heart is ensnared in a sudden bout of terror. Is he ready to die? No. No, he’s spent a majority of his time in the labyrinth. The snippets of what came before then, his long-forgotten past he can now garner glimpses of, are not anything that can be described as joyful; it’s cloaked in a sense of foreboding and tragedy. It’s not a life with few regrets; it’s not a life worth looking back on at all.

He has to _live_. So Tobio does something he never has before.

He prays. An utterance of a single word, “Please _._ ” 

Tobio believes in the power of the gods, he’d have to be an idiot not to after what has happened. It’s the resentment boiling in his gut that prevented him from groveling at the deities’ feet; his unadulterated hatred for that supremacy over mankind which became his downfall. But when faced with the impending possibility of death (preceded by years of placating), Tobio allows himself this weakness, to ask for the help of someone— _anyone_ —who would be benevolent enough to have pity on the proud.

 _“Please,”_ he repeats.

Within seconds, the winds change and his balance pitches sideways, sending him tumbling through the air with outstretched hands grasping at nothing. His chest tightens, his back seizes and suddenly he’s gasping for a completely different reason.

It’s bright—too bright for him to fully comprehend the pricking against the skin of his back spreading deeper into the muscle. Tobio’s temperature climbs higher and higher until he’s sure he’ll burst into flames this very instant. His mind is swimming with incantations he doesn’t know yet his lips follow along with every one of them. Everything is so much. It’s so much Tobio thinks he’s being ripped to pieces as further punishment for escaping.

Then it’s over. And he’s falling again. Except, maybe he isn’t—not exactly. No, he’s…

 _Flying_.

* * *

Clumsily, Tobio travels through the air, not venturing too far from the expanse of water below him. It doesn’t take long for him to spot an island after that. The edge is laced with white sand and the interior is filled with luscious green mountaintops caressing the clouds above.

Tobio rises and falls with the gales of wind and after a particularly close encounter with the water, he decides to land on the rapidly approaching island. 

Tumbling to a stop is, by far, the worst part of the experience but soon enough, his feet (finally) make contact with solid ground. He’s nearly brought to his knees at the sheer relief flooding his entire body.

He attempts to shrug off his wings, his shoulders begging for the reprieve. But nothing happens.

Tobio reaches and twirls, face scrunching in confusion. He’s sure he looks like a dog chasing its tail, but he’s determined to _get these damn things off_.

That’s when his fingers touch the junction between his back and shoulder blades. Or at least, what feels like his shoulder blades at first.

Tobio’s hand slides across the beginnings of the wings as it fades into the skin of his back. The wings are still waxen, yet the transition is smooth, _too smooth_. His stomach rolls as his hand recoils.

He digs his fingertips across the flesh of his cheeks and across his forehead. The density is largely normal, moving as it always has. However, the texture is not how he remembers it being at all. The only other object that feels remotely similar is the contraption that’s now _fused_ to his back.

Tobio studies his hands critically. Not a single crease is misplaced, no hue is unnatural nor unappealing to his sharp eyes. So why…

He clenches his fists and grits his teeth until they creak. The reasoning doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter anymore because his physiology is now completely morphed, distorted, _wrong._

_A monster._

Dread seeps into every crevice of his heart and Tobio swallows the harsh reality of his situation: 

His prayer has been answered with a curse.

* * *

It is on this island Tobio remains, wallowing in his shame and unwilling to face the outside world. 

It is also on this island where Tobio meets someone new. The first person he’s talked to in centuries. A boy with fiery hair and constellations etched into his skin; short white chiton falling loosely around his frame with a small gold rope tied around his waist and his feet bare. His impish smile makes the empyrean itself brighten.

“My name,” he says, “is Hinata Shouyou.”

He extends his hand.

Tobio reaches to accept it, but even with several inches between them, Tobio’s skin simmers and bubbles from the scorching heat of Hinata’s palm. Tobio curses, retracting his hand before any further damage could be done.

The sky, along with Hinata’s expression, dims.

* * *

As much as Tobio tries, Hinata is an unwavering tempest that cannot be avoided. He’s a constant; an annoyance with the promise of light constantly at his heels. Many days he trails behind Tobio, chattering about everything and asking occasional questions.

_Where are you from?_

_Do you wanna go swimming?_

_Have you ever seen this plant before?_

_Why don’t you just fly places?_

_Are you going to ignore me forever?_

Hinata only gets grunts in response, a sound that is composed neither of affirmation nor of denial. Yet, Hinata presses on.

There are a few days of blessed peace, where Tobio can revel in the solace of being alone; with no eyes watching him, no chances of silent jeers, no forced isolation. He’s all alone because he wants to be. _Because it’s easier that way._

“Why don’t you like people?” Hinata chirps one day, tone much too lively to be asking such a personal question.

Tobio pauses from his spot in the dirt. (He’s trying to weave stiff tropical leaves together in an attempt to make…a basket? He’ll decide that later.) He spares Hinata a brief glance.

Hinata is lounging on a tree branch mere yards from him, amber eyes boring into Tobio’s back (Tobio hopes this is figurative but given his body’s reaction to Hinata, he honestly isn’t quite sure). God, does this kid not have any manners?

“Maybe I just don’t like nosey people constantly hovering over my shoulder,” he says gruffly, returning to the task at hand in hopes his response will sate Hinata.

“Rude!” Hinata swings his legs over the branch as his nose wrinkles in petulant ire. “People will never want to be around you if you’re always this mean, Kageyama.”

Tobio’s hands still. “How do you know my name?”

Clouds pass in front of the sun, shadowing them in a temporary canopy.

“You were the boy trapped in the labyrinth,” Hinata’s voice quivers.

Tobio seethes, rounds of frigid fury pumping through him as he grapples to his feet. “How do you know that?”

The air surrounding them grows darker by the second. When Tobio turns to face Hinata, the vibrant man is standing only a meter away, expression the most serious he’s ever seen in his life. His eyes spark with intensity and Tobio locks his knees to keep himself firmly planted. “Come home with me, Kageyama.”

“You didn’t answer my question, _dumbass_.”

Suddenly, Hinata’s face contorts back into an expression of child-like indignation. “I’m not _dumb._ I’ll answer your question if you come with me.”

Tobio narrows his eyes. Ultimately, he decides he has the means to handle Hinata in a fight if the worst were to happen (he can ignore his bodily needs long enough to get away, that is) and nods.

Hinata claps, bouncing on the toes of his bare feet. “Great! We have a long walk since I live waaaay up there—” he points to mountain range “—and you probably don’t want to walk in the dark. Unless you’d rather fly?”

He asks this inquisitively, genuine curiosity softening the crease between his brows. Tobio scowls regardless. “I’m fine. I could beat you up there without flying anyway.”

Hinata surveys him up and down a couple times. Tobio wonders vaguely what he sees. Probably something rather pathetic if his grayed tunic and threadbare pants are anything to go off of.

“Is that so?” Hinata challenges, grin stretching until all his teeth are bared.

Tobio snarls, “Absolutely.”

 _“Prove it,”_ Hinata places his hands on his hips. “To the mountain base.”

So, they ready their marks, cautiously keeping within their own parameters to keep Tobio in solid form. Then they take off.

The sun smiles down on their sweat glistened skin as they fight their way through the undergrowth to the beat of their footfalls and twigs wishing past their ears. Every so often Tobio catches wisps of amber amidst the verdant leaves and peals of laughter will reverberate from the trees. This fuels Tobio, lights something beneath the soles of his feet and propels him farther and faster than he ever thought he could.

When he finally reaches the mountain face, Hinata is there with his signature grin. Beads of sweat trail down his forehead to trace the delicate slope of his freckled nose and his curls spiral even wilder than before. “I actually had to try. You’re fast, Kageyama.” His shit-eating smirk re-debuts. “But not faster than me.”

“Fuck…you,” Tobio gasps out. His legs tremble beneath him but Tobio feels as if he could sprint many kilometers more.

Hinata chuckles. “Where did you learn to run like that?”

Flashes of obsidian passageways, never ending and drawing him deeper despite his body crying from exhaustion, flit through his mind. Months of wandering and begging for his legs to buckle, to just let him collapse and _rest._ Years more of knowing that might never happen.

Tobio shrugs.

Hinata hums and twirls away from Tobio with a dramatic flourish. “Let’s go!”

He skips to the rocky path carved into the mountain face. Tobio’s feet move of their own accord to follow after him.

* * *

“I’m the god of the stars,” Hinata tells him as he leads Tobio up the mountain path. 

Tobio vaguely thinks he should be more shocked, or even angry given his experiences with deities. However, he and Hinata are not friends. They’re simply inhabiting the same space for the foreseeable future and it isn’t as if Hinata would cease interacting with him anyways. (He’s ever the victim of circumstance, it seems.) “You look more like the sun.”

Hinata’s smile sharpens. “Is the sun not a star, Kageyama?”

Tobio wishes in that moment he could touch Hinata, only so he would be able to wipe that grin from his face by pushing him off the fucking cliff.

* * *

Hinata’s home isn’t what Tobio expects it to be. Instead of natural materials, the “house” is composed of glass, resting upon the mountain top. There is no door, only an arcing gape in the cylinder wall, thinly lined by gold. The roof is a gently sloped dome held in place by the overhang with pillars. Green wildlife creeps up the support beams in lazy, haphazard circles, surrounded by dots of floating iridescent yellow. 

As a place of residence, the little gazebo is quite impractical. There are many places in which the weather can seep in, the material is easily breakable, and repairs would take far too long—that’s all without mentioning the fact of how inconvenient the location is. (Tobio supposes none of these factors matter all too much to an eternal being, but he can—and will—still complain about these things).

There is one thing Tobio can credit to the small abode, however. It is…breathtaking against the backdrop of the inky night sky completely free of clouds or tree canopies. Every galaxy, stroke of mauve and cobalt, and tiny nova is present right in front of Tobio. He swims in the sight.

Blessedly, Hinata says nothing about his blatant gaping as they draw nearer to the house.

When close enough, Tobio reaches out to the greenery latched onto the pillars. “Hydrangea anomala,” Tobio murmurs to himself, thumbing the soft white petals. It’s a miracle these are able to survive here at all, let alone thrive as they are.

A chuckle startles him from his reverie. “You know them?” Hinata says lightly.

Tobio’s gaze turns to Hinata as the short deity pauses in the threshold of his home. “Somewhat.”

Hinata swivels on his heel. “Well, if you like all this, there’s much more I can show you.”

Tobio—somehow, despite himself—believes him and follows him inside.

The interior is nearly completely bare, with the exception of a circular rug directly in the center and a short table off to its side. The table has a woven basket on it, overflowing with various kinds of fruits, cheeses, and breads.

It’s simplistic, yet it’s the most beautiful house that Tobio has ever seen. (Not that he has much idea what the interior of houses typically look like.)

Hinata settles on the rug with his legs crossed and motions for Tobio to do the same opposite of him.

Tobio raises a brow but complies anyway and finds it to be uncomfortably warm near Hinata. He has to move to the far edge to evade the heat Hinata is emitting. The corners of Hinata’s lips waver briefly.

“So,” Hinata drawls. “What do you want to know?”

Tobio bites back a rude retort. “I doubt _you_ would know anything.” Well, he tried to at least.

Hinata’s cheek twitches in irritation. “I’m a _god,_ Kageyama. I have to know at least a few things.”

“Why would a god know anything about me at all?”

“Um,” Hinata tilts his head, confusion etched between his brows but a small smile still on his lips. “You were damned to wander a labyrinth for all of eternity because you angered a god? I’d say that warrants at least a little infamy among us.”

Tobio’s teeth grit. The desire to cry out _that isn’t my fault_ claws from deep within his torso and wraps around his throat. But he can’t get the words out because they aren’t true; they’re nothing except an empty falsehood that’s as transparent as the room they reside in. It’s Tobio’s fault. ~~_(It’s always been Tobio’s fault.)_~~

“But how did you know that was _me_ _?_ None of those stories would have said anything about being cursed with... _these,”_ Tobio spits as he half-heartedly gestures to the wings across his back.

Hinata’s face goes completely blank. It’s rather creepy, Tobio has to admit. The expressiveness painted across his features and eyes has vanished as quickly as the last ray of sun sinking over the horizon.

And just as quickly as it disappears, it rises yet again in the hollow laugh Hinata bellows out. Tobio has to focus on his fidgeting hands to keep his eyes from searing—even then he continues to blink the spots from his vision. “No, I guess they didn’t,” he muses. “But I had a hunch.”

Tobio grunts and turns his gaze skywards.

Though, he guesses, if he tilts his head to the nova sitting across from him, he’ll get the exact same experience.

* * *

Hinata invites him to stay the night. So Tobio does.

That night…and the next, and the next, and the next one after that.

Tobio gruffly tells Hinata it’s only so he doesn’t have to sleep in the dirt anymore—which rings true; enough soil already mars his clothes, more will only serve to make it worse and Tobio hates being grimy.

However, Tobio also knows he’s not being completely truthful.

Like hell, will he ever admit that he finds a specific sense of domesticity in the presence of someone who welcomes his company. Not to Hinata.

Not even to himself.

* * *

Tobio spends most of his days staring directly into the stellar provinces. 

His retinas burn, and annoyance constantly roils in his gut and yet he remains. He doesn’t even attempt to leave, even as the rays of the sky seep beneath his skin and ignite his bones. His flesh protests but something within his chest keeps him grounded to this strange place.

And soon enough, the flammable boy becomes acquainted with the sun.


	2. Beyond what we see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of Kageyama's backstory, antics, and a strong bond beginning to form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially finished this!! All I have to do is go through and edit the chapters and post them! (It's turned out to be a grand total of about 24k without any editing. It's my longest work yet hhhhh). Anyways! All that to say, I'll be posting more consistently from now on! Enjoy <3

Tobio drifts in the state of consciousness and that beyond it. It’s unbearably hot today and while Hinata revels in the open space of the meadow, Tobio is forced to the sidelines with his back against a tree trunk as the leaves grant him shade. Hinata hums a small distance away, causing Tobio to crack an eye open to see what the little god has done this time.

He’s sitting with his legs crossed, amber gaze fixated upon the patches of blossoms surrounding him. Hinata’s fingers curl around delicate flowers as he plucks them from the ground. He isn’t smiling, but the contented slant of his lips indicate that they could pivot into its normal position at any given moment. “Why don’t you fly, Kageyama?" 

“Because I’m a monster,” Tobio recites stoically, closing his eyes again. “I don’t want to use something that’s been forced on me.”

This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation in the duration of Tobio’s stay the past few weeks. Hinata is irritatingly stuck on the subject of flight and continues trying to force another reaction out of Tobio with this particular question. Tobio, however, remains firm and never gives any other answer (except total silence if Tobio _really_ doesn’t want to deal with Hinata’s daily load of bullshit).

“What makes you say you’re a monster?”

Now, that…is different. Usually he’s met with _oh come on Kageyama, you’re being stupid_ or on rare occasions a soft _you aren’t though_. Follow up questions aren’t something Tobio thought to prepare for, seeing how single track minded Hinata is.

“It isn’t like this is a new thing, dumbass,” Tobio shrugs idly. “It’s always been this way.”

Tobio can practically hear the incredulous eyebrow raise. “What do you mean?”

“None of your business.”

_“Kageyama.”_

And there it is. The voice Tobio can see commanding the sun into orbit and speaking the stars into existence with a single utterance. It’s not loud, nor is it necessarily rough, but it is _present_ and all consuming.

It really grinds at Tobio.

He pinches his nose rougher than necessary as he pushes away from the tree to mirror Hinata in a crisscross position. _Breath in, two, three. Breath out, two, three, four_. He can do this.

“I’ve never been good with people.” Hinata opens his mouth, eyes flashing brightly. “I swear to the gods, if you say one word before I’m done, I will fucking destroy you.”

Hinata’s jaw clenches so fast, an audible click reaches Tobio’s ears.

He sighs. “I never made many friends, few people wanted to tolerate me. I walked home to my mother, did my chores, and went to bed every day. When I was barely considered an adult, I think, the…details are fuzzy now, my mother went to town. I don’t know what happened to her—not exactly. Something to do with a thief and a child. But she came back bleeding. A lot. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

Tobio closes his eyes and breathes a lungful of the suffocating air. His fists wind so tight, Tobio feels the indents forming in his palms. “All people saw was a dead woman and her outcast, blood covered son. So. I became a monster. Even the friends I thought I had… _left_. I don't remember much after that. I guess it was lucky I was exiled to the maze before anything could truly come of it.”

He lets the rest of his sentence hang in the air and Tobio’s muscles tremble right below the surface of his skin. He chances a peek at Hinata.

His hands have stilled around the string of flowers resting on his calf. His hair seems less vibrant, maybe because of the veil of clouds passing in front of the sun, and his mouth is pinching in on itself. Tobio has never seen his face so forlorn and it pangs like an arrow in his sternum.

Then, like a shooting star flies across the sky, his face changes into another new expression for Tobio to file away.

Hinata’s jaw muscle twitches and his eyes spark. In fact, almost his entire body is erupting into tiny licks of flame curling off of him. The surrounding plant life begins to bend and weep in a direct circle around him. The temperature is suddenly the most oppressive it’s ever been. 

Before he knows it, Tobio himself is boiling. He hisses and scrambles away. “Watch it, dumbass! Are you trying to kill me?”

It cools instantaneously. Hinata blinks and lets the ashes of the blossoms tumble from his fingertips. He clambers to his feet so quickly, he loses balance and falls on his backside again. “I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.” 

Tobio’s tension leaves his shoulders as Hinata inhales for several moments and stands upon his exhale, much calmer. He dusts off his chiton and moves to a different area to pick at the tiny white flowers there. Once he’s gathered enough, he returns to the blackened spot in front of Tobio and begins his fiddling again.

“You,” he states firmly, “didn’t deserve that at all. If I had known—”

“You would have turned a blind eye like all the other gods.”

“ _No_ ,” growls Hinata. He now looks as well as sounds like the god universes would instantly crumple to their knees to reverently worship—with eyes raging and freckles of glowing ember eviscerating everything in his path. “But…I know now.” Hinata’s stare meets Tobio’s and Tobio has to repress a shudder under the weight of it.

A while passes in total silence, even as Hinata’s fingers weave with the stems and Tobio watches vigilantly. Hinata stills after what seems like hours. Probably has been if the tell-tale brush strokes of sunset are anything to go by.

He steps carefully towards Tobio, face still downturned to the tiny flowers connected in his palms. “You won’t ever have to worry about that again, Kageyama.” Hinata halts, toes on the imaginary line he knows he cannot cross. Tobio lifts his head to see Hinata’s softly crinkled eyes. Hinata brings his arms up, cradling the round blooming chain in both hands and lets them drop. The halo of blossoms lands crookedly on the crown of his head. He continues from above Tobio, “From now on, you rise and set _with me.”_

Tobio’s heart beats to the rhythm of that final statement.

And it never stops.

* * *

“Why do you wonder about me flying so much?”

Hinata trails ahead on the path. It’s late into the night now, given their delayed trek back up to Hinata’s home, but he shines as lively as ever.

“I used to be human, you know. I’m just one in a line of many sun gods.” He looks out across the island wistfully. “I could go anywhere I wanted, but now I have to stay here to look after everything.” Hinata peeks at him through his lashes. “It’s because I’m jealous of you.”

Tobio mentally packs that statement away. Now doesn’t seem like a good time to unpack it, too much emotional strain for one day. “I thought you were immortal?”

Hinata lets out a drawn-out whine as he whirls his back to Tobio. “I am. At least, my soul is. I’ll live forever, just not as the sun god and through many other lifetimes.” Hinata bends backwards, letting his head fall against his back to stare at Tobio. Something in Tobio’s chest stutters. “And now you will too.” 

They travel the rest of the way back in silence.

* * *

Seasons are hard to distinguish on Hinata’s island. Not surprising seeing as the embodiment of all the stars and the sun lives on it. Autumn and winter bring a chillier breeze, but the sky is always there to bring warmth to the serene beaches lapping around the boundaries of the isle. 

Similar to the labyrinth, Tobio eventually lets time slip through his fingers without recounting every individual grain. Days and nights fluctuate in length as the stages of life soar past him. He watches the plants diligently, mentally tracking the cycle of all living things that call this place home. Including Hinata.

On rare occasions, Hinata needs to reserve the space atop the mountain for himself (something about having "god duties") and Tobio leaves him alone up there. Admittedly, those days are the bleakest; the ones he can’t be in proximity to Hinata, tease him or deal with the after effects of being with him. It’s incredibly, irreversibly _idiotic_ the way Hinata doesn’t even have to step near him in order Tobio’s internal temperature to rise. Tawny irises landing on him is more than enough by itself.

There are…many lyrics or systems of prose Tobio tries to but cannot think of any that could describe this. The only two words that refuse to evade him are simple and contain few syllables in totality.

_Flying_

and

_Melting._

* * *

Unfortunately for Tobio, the beautiful glass house upon the mountain becomes unbearably suffocating when the sun rises. Rays of sweet morning light pierce his skin like hot knives until he’s forced to retreat from his plush pile of blankets and pillows. 

(Sleep is a bizarre habit now. Tobio drifts across the line of “mortal” and into an area completely undiscovered by anyone, the gods included. He has no title, no powers, and yet things such as sleeping and eating are optional for him. Tobio tends to take up on those habits simply because Hinata seems to still enjoy them—specifically eating, he doesn’t really sleep—and likes to drag Tobio into his antics.)

Tobio doesn’t mind mornings, oddly enough—though Hinata will insist that he’s grumpy when he doesn’t wake up on his own whims. He likes to step out on the dirt path and face the horizon skating along the surface of the ocean waves, to feel the breeze stroke his skin.

This particular early morning though, Hinata seems…off. Not in his usual eccentric way that lures Tobio in and lights a fire beneath his wings, but in a way that’s decidedly _unlike him_.

Tobio has never been one to use words to their fullest extent, especially not when it comes to interacting with other living beings. However, seeing Hinata like this—sitting on the mountain’s peek, shoulders bent inwards, expression distant, and mouth firmly closed without a single word escaping for hours on end—Tobio decides he has to do something about it.

“Hinata?”

Dulled eyes turn to him and blink several times before a response comes. “Yeah?”

The weight of his options grows thick in his sternum and he tries desperately to grasp anything that seems reasonable. Tobio’s hands twitch as he licks his lips. Shit, why is he so bad with _words_. “You…look bad.”

Tobio almost lets out an exasperated breath on the spot because _of course_ that’s what actually comes out of his mouth. (He’s said much worse but still.)

His heart winds tighter as Hinata’s face screws up. “No, I don’t.”

“Yeah,” Tobio rasps, brain a chaotic cluster of _oh gods stop talking you’re going to screw it up again._ “You really do. You have this…thing with your face. It’s stupid.”

Hinata squawks loudly. “Wha—! My face?”

Nodding exuberantly, Tobio swallows the anxious energy threatening to break through his skin and fill the air between them. “Your face,” he confirms solemnly.

“You’re not making any sense,” Hinata laments, throwing his head back. But Tobio can see the tautness leaving his upper body and decides that sparing a little embarrassment is worth it in the end. “Am I still doing it?”

Tobio narrows his eyes, pretending to study Hinata’s face intensely. He still has the remnants of worry creases on his forehead, but even from this distance Tobio can spot the crow’s feet begin to make their impression at the corner of Hinata’s eyes. Hinata suddenly breaks out into a ridiculous expression that pinched his lips and widened his eyes as his brows climbed comically high on his face. Tobio snickers before he can think to hold it back. “Yes. It’s getting worse by the second.”

“Oh no. Whatever shall I do?” Hinata barely holds a straight face before he bursts into an obnoxious bout of giggles as he wraps his arms around his middle and his bare feet lift from the ground. Tobio’s lips twitch into a small smile at the sight.

Tobio’s feet beg to inch forward but he immediately stamps it down. In just two steps, his body would waver and soften from the proximity; getting closer than he is, is not an option. He settles into a seated position next to Hinata, putting a little extra distance between them, just in case he’s tempted again. “Just stop thinking, dumbass.”

At this, Hinata turns sour. “I wish it were that easy.” 

Tobio doesn’t know what to say or even how to try to solve whatever is bothering Hinata this severely. So, he doesn’t. Luckily, Hinata knows this—knows _him_ —and doesn’t comment on it either.

They stay on the mountain peak for the rest of the day, simply admiring the birds-eye-view of the island. Hinata hums every so often, a meaningless tune that has no purpose other than to be released into the space between them, as he swings his legs against the rock.

When night closes in like a prowling animal, Hinata stands and says, “let’s go.” Tobio, of course, complies and they teeter down the mountain face.

It’s halfway back, when the wind sweeps his hair into his eyes and Hinata laughs at him outright, Tobio is enlightened with another description of the churning deep in his bone marrow: _home_.

* * *

As the cosmos playfully stretches across the sky to make itself known to humanity, Hinata and Tobio sit across from each other on the pallet; Tobio is particularly careful of the implied barrier between the two of them this night.

Against the glistening ebony, Hinata’s hair shines brighter than any supernova _._ Tobio wonders about it, staring right into the heart of the sun as it recedes into the surrounding dusk. A chasm opens within his chest and fills with the longing— _yearning—_ to know what the texture of such unruliness would be like running through his fingers. _Tobio’s_ tongue moves in tandem with his trail of thought.

“What does your hair feel like? It looks…” _softsoftsoft_ “…stupid.” Well fuck you too, mouth.

Hinata tilts his head, wide eyes blinking slowly as he openly stares. “You’re so weird, Kageyama.”

Tobio looks away and flares angrily at the opposite end of the room. He's sick of embarrassing himself.

“Hmm,” Hinata hums. Tobio peeks at him, seeing the little god slip both hands into his hair. Slender fingers slide from his ears to the top of his pale scalp, curls poking out excitedly. “I think it’s the most luscious and beautiful feeling hair in all of the galaxies.”

Tobio huffs a laugh and he swears he could melt from the grin he got in return alone.

“What about you, Kageyama?”

“Ha?”

“I already know your hair is super smooth so...what does your skin feel like?”

Tobio glances down at his palms, flexing and releasing as the tendons all work in tandem. He’s never had working hands, filled with the trophies of his labor, nor does he have the delicate hands of a beggar. He is simply Tobio.

When he finally responds, he only gives Hinata one word. “Wax.”

* * *

Tobio is not a clever man, never has been and never in the foreseeable future will he be. However, on an uninhabited island without law or rule, Tobio is left spare time to truly think.

So, because of this, he’s discovered one thing that is a certainty:

Tobio is falling.

But the impossibility of such a statement is not affected at all by the appendages attached to his back that could carry him away. No, it comes from the fact that he is falling in the opposite direction of gravity.

Directly into the heart of the sun.

* * *

“I have to leave for a couple days.”

Tobio blinks, plump fruit poised in front of his awaiting mouth. “What?”

Hinata sighs as his head thumps against the tree trunk behind him, leg bouncing erratically. His own half-eaten food lays abandoned by his side. “There’s some, uh, meeting or whatever that I have to go to.”

“Gods have _meetings_?” Tobio bites into the peach and continues to talk as the juice drips down his chin. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Hinata waves towards him in an imitation of a playful slap. “ _Yes_ , we do. Because humans are stupid, and we have to keep tabs on the whole universe.” Hinata slouches more, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Even though I’m doing a perfectly fine job and don’t really have anything to do with the rest of them.”

Tobio snickers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before taking another bite. “Idiotic gods.”

“You know what? I actually agree with that,” Hinata wrinkles his nose as his lips curl into a small grin.

Tobio hums. “When do you leave?”

“Tonight.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Eh, a few days to a week.”

The crushing load of _you'll be_ _all_ _alone_ , _he’s leaving you all alone and there’s no guarantee he’ll come back to you_ rams directly into his chest and like a poisoned arrow it spreads from the center of his torso into his blood stream. _He's a god. He could change islands._ It constricts his blood vessels and claws at his throat. His head is spinning with the dizzying awareness of what could happen.

After all, why _would_ Hinata want to stay with him?

“Kageyama?”

Tobio screws his eyes shut and sighs through gritted teeth. “Yeah?”

A rustle fills the gap between words and when Tobio opens his eyes, Hinata’s face is the closest it’s ever been. Tobio sucks in a breath, trying not to focus on the splattering of golden brown flecks across his nose and cheeks. His skin heats all the way down his neck and past his collarbones.

“I made you a promise,” Hinata says, firmly. “I _will_ keep it. I’ll come home.”

A shiver rushes down Tobio’s spine like a whirlwind. The poison eating at his blood vessels eases; though it doesn’t fade completely, it transforms into a steely weight behind his ribs. Tobio shakily exhales an, “ _okay._ ”

And Tobio finds that around his bruising fear, lies the part of his heart that truly believes Hinata will keep his promises.

Hinata’s face softens. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

He sees Hinata off that evening with the stars gathering closer to guide their deity to his destination in the heavens. 

Smiles are exchanged. A final promise is made.

Tobio blinks then Hinata is gone.

An ache begins to fester within Tobio and the hush of solitude blankets over it, in an attempt to keep his emotions at bay.

That is when Tobio truly sees that his solitude now equates to his loneliness rather than his escape.

* * *

In the following days Tobio is the most bored has ever been in his entire fucking life. Without someone to fill the silent void, Tobio only hears the crashing waves that lull him in and out of consciousness.

He spends his first two days sleeping and taking inventory of all the wildlife on the island. He can’t deny that the greenery cushioning the island brought him a simplistic joy—a joy distantly echoing what he felt on those days centuries ago tending the garden, sneaking around the forest in search of food, then returning to the fatigued smile of his mother. However, there is a certain emptiness in returning to an empty abode, where someone else once resided. Specifically, there is a cold spot in the little transparent gazebo that begs to be filled by a presence larger than any galaxy could ever hope to be.

On the third day, Tobio doesn’t venture far from the mountain. The whole day, his gaze drifts back to the sparkle of cut-glass at the peak; each time his heart rises until he processes that the light is not Hinata’s return to the mortal realm and then it falls down into his stomach once more.

The fourth day he travels around the rocky paths and drifts into the wide mouthed hollows in the mount itself. Tobio learns that he cannot go very far without a light and carrying a torch isn’t an option, so his adventures never fail to be cut short. There are many caves he didn’t previously know about though, so he spends the fifth and sixth day in a similar manner.

By the time day seven arrives—the very end of Hinata’s given time frame—Tobio does not leave the mountain top at all. He paces, sings a tune he’s heard Hinata hum many times (decides he should _never_ sing in front of anyone… _ever_ ), and when the heat of day gets too much, he crouches behind a small overhang to tuck his wings safely in the shade.

Tobio goes to war with himself on the eighth day. He’s angry— _furious_ _,_ really—that Hinata hasn’t returned yet. He promised he would, and Tobio still clings to those phrases like they’re whispered confessions. So, for Hinata to not be back when he said he would is…infuriating. On the other side, it’s concerning. Tobio has to suppress visions of every horrible thing that could have happened or still be happening to Hinata. The scenario is unlikely but Tobio would be powerless to help him, if that were the case—which only serves to add more to his irritation. But Tobio has no choice except to face the overarching emotion that causes these irrational thoughts: _He really fucking misses Hinata._

The ninth day passes similarly. As does the tenth. Then the twelfth. And—

Time, which usually means nothing to Tobio becomes an agonizing torture that has no remedy. With every passing day, the sun gets dimmer, tamer, until Tobio doesn’t even have to hide in the shade any more. Tobio’s fears gain new footing.

Before he knows it, it’s been a full two weeks.

Tobio doesn’t care what the hell is so important to those arrogant deities that they need to meet for this long, it needs to end immediately. Tobio just wants Hinata to _come back_. 

The sun is setting on the fifteenth day and Tobio is cradling a basket of his remaining food items—just plain breads and cheeses at this point. He trudges back to the top of the mountain to watch the last remains of sun beams slip over the horizon. He’s grumbling to himself, an eclectic bunch of curses strung together about nothing in particular.

The very moment he reaches the top, he’s blinded by a sudden burst of light. He blinks several times, scowling at the way his skin tingles and faces the western sky.

Several yards away, with his back facing towards Tobio, stands Hinata, draped in gaudy robes tumbling in waves from his shoulders and golden leaves of a circlet glistening on his head. Even from here, Tobio’s breath is stalled. When he pivots, amber eyes immediately locking on his, all oxygen is stolen from Tobio's lungs. The woven basket falls from his numb fingertips and the food scatters in an inedible mess across the mountaintop.

A beat passes, a single moment etched in the grand scheme of their existence that could have stretched on for an eternity without a single soul truly caring.

Then Hinata is _sprinting_ . He’s coming right towards Tobio with eyes watery and his arms splayed wide open. Tobio is suddenly _so very happy._

It seems to occur to them in the exact same time that this is an extremely horrendous idea that clearly hadn’t been thought through.

Hinata flails in an attempt to stop himself and Tobio backpedals as quickly as he possibly can. However, the basket gets under Hinata’s foot and launches him forward. Tobio trips on his ankles trying to get away before something _really_ disastrous happens and lands with his left wing folded awkwardly underneath his back with a grunt.

He hears Hinata’s helpless yelp and a thump of something heavy falling to his right. Tobio immediately looks to find Hinata, lying on his side, already looking at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

“Hi,” Hinata breathes. 

“Hello,” Tobio replies, just as quiet.

He’s so close. The closest he has ever been and Tobio’s edges become distorted and fluid at the proximity, morphing to the ground underneath him. Tobio chooses to ignore it. The pain doesn’t matter; none of that _fucking matters_ because Hinata is right here in front of him—he’s _home_ and it is the most beautiful sight Tobio has ever seen in his life. It far outranks anything, even all the natural wonders the world has to offer because he is truly in the presence of the entire sky personified.

Hinata catches sight of him and puts distance between them with a sheepish look that only serves to lighten Tobio’s heart even further despite the desire to pull Hinata back.

Something ripples through his chest and bubbles in his esophagus. It comes out as huffs of air at first, but eventually it dissolves into chuckles. Hinata follows suit directly after and soon enough, the two of them are laughing—fully and gutturally laughing in the utter delight of being with the other person once more.

That night, the stars truly beam.

* * *

Upon their reunion, Tobio’s brain decides to forgo every defense of filter it might have had. “I missed you,” he blurts later that night.

Hinata’s arms lower, removing the intricate circlet from his curls. His eyes train on the jewelry in his hands, a small grin forming on his lips. “A compliment? Should I call you Softie-yama now?”

“Shut up,” Tobio snarls, heat running up his neck. He mutters to himself, “Stupid god, did you even miss me?”

Hinata sets down the circlet gently, his smile suddenly much too sad for Tobio’s tastes. Hinata faces him directly with stiff shoulders and glassy eyes. “You know I did.”

Tobio shouldn’t be as shocked as he is to discover how right Hinata is. Tobio _does_ know.

And he revels in it.

* * *

When Hinata asks how his alone time on the island went, Tobio gives him a vague response and turns it around with _I wouldn’t have been so bored if you weren’t so slow_.

Hinata responds with a close-lipped smile and an apology. 

Tobio has a feeling he doesn’t truly understand what Hinata is apologizing for.

* * *

Rarely ever does Hinata leave his side in the daytime, teetering over the line between ‘normal Hinata behavior’ into ‘clingy’ territory. Tobio can’t really say he minds. He draws right back, as much as he possibly can in their given situation.

In the subsequent nights, Hinata lies next to him while he sleeps, a pleasant warmth seeping into his spine as he drifts. Tobio never fails to awaken with tempered wings, but he figures his own retribution is an inexpensive charge.

And gods only know, he would pay any price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so soft for Them. Sorry for the slight angst but the real angst kicks in next chapter (I'm sorry :///)
> 
> Anyways! I'm still @meettheroyalmes on twitter if you want to see my antics or something. I really enjoy feedback and appreciate all of you for taking the time to read this passion project of mine. I'll be back soon with another chapter! <3


	3. Time cannot tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed and Tobio's world is thrown askew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty folks. This chapter contains some angst and has no resolution this chapter. If you want to wait for it to resolve, I'll post that in a few days (I already have it mostly edited and ready to go). For those of you who continue, hope you enjoy this next chapter regardless <3

Tobio falls back into routine much easier than he expected. The hours spent with Hinata—teasing him, competing with him, talking to him—are even better than what he remembers they were before. With one exception.

Hinata has more of his Weird-Thinking-Hinata moments now. Meaning that there are some silences they lapse into that aren’t entirely comfortable yet not exactly uncomfortable at the exact same time. His amber eyes become duller and unseeing, his face an unnervingly neutral and _blank._ Tobio’s relief upon Hinata’s return rapidly transmutes into concern.

Hinata brushes it off every time he tries to approach it. “Don’t worry about me, Tobio. What you should be worrying about is how awful you are at making baskets. Just look at how much _better_ mine are—” 

If he could, Tobio would shove him hard enough to knock him in the dirt.

Honestly, if Tobio hadn’t been spending almost every conceivable moment for the past few months (or has it been longer than that?) with Hinata, he wouldn’t have noticed anything. Admittedly, Tobio is a little dense when it comes to interactions. But if there’s something—or someone—he knows, it’s _Hinata._

He sees the extra force Hinata uses to form a smile. There are multiple occasions when Tobio tries to goad him on and he refuses follow up with his usual insult. Perhaps the thing that is the strangest to Tobio, is the fact that he wants to return to their house earlier.

It’s _so_ strange. Tobio doesn’t know how to react or approach it because Hinata still seems happy with him. The laughs and ridiculous conversations they have remain as eccentric and amusing as ever. Hinata still seems so happy sometimes he looks like he’ll burst right then and there (which, in turn, means Tobio is equally as happy, though not as openly).

It is weird but it’s probably not near as major as Tobio is making it out to be.

Hinata always says something about “communicating your feelings” or something like that. If it’s something important, he’ll tell Tobio.

Tobio is certain.

* * *

“You awake?” 

Tobio lifts his head from his arms momentarily. Hinata’s back is to him and he gives no indication of moving. Tobio rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Yeah.” 

Hinata still doesn’t stir so Tobio settles back into the comfortable crook of his arm. A few deep sighs later, the siren song of sleep calls out to him. Just as he’s about to answer, Hinata speaks up again, barely a whisper, “Can I ask you something?”

“What?” Tobio’s eyes don’t open but his brows do furrow.

“Can I call you by your first name?” 

Tobio scoffs though his heart does flutter almost imperceptibly (or that’s what he tells himself). “This is why you woke me up? To ask me _that ?”_

A pause. “Sorry.”

Tobio’s scowl intensifies as he strains to glance back at Hinata. His edges are slowly shrinking in on himself. It makes him look like the petals of an aging flower, wilting and delicate. Tobio doesn’t like it at all.

He drops his head and releases another breath. “Yeah.” 

“Huh?” Hinata’s voice glows with hope that _definitely_ causes something weird in Tobio’s heart.

“You heard me,” he huffs. “You can call me Tobio. I don’t even know why you didn’t just do that from the beginning.”

There’s a weak chuckle from Hinata and the sense of foreboding winds tighter around his throat. Hinata’s laughs are meant to be booming and boisterous for the entire universe to listen to. “I guess you’re right about that, Tobio.”

Tobio is mildly surprised that his cheeks don’t start thawing with the sudden rush of heat that pools there. (It’s almost enough to distract him from how solemn Hinata sounds.) “Are you o—” 

“You should call me Shouyou,” Hinata’s voice overlaps his. “So we’re even.”

Tobio considers this only a moment. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

With that, Tobio slips into unconsciousness with a slight upturn to his lips.

* * *

Tobio has a sense of accomplishment in being the only one to peel past all the layers of divinity and utter the true name of this little god.

_Shouyou._

Though what lies in the core of Hinata Shouyou is a resounding amount of humanity. Which means he’s also uncovered something raw and long-suffering.

* * *

The tainted ambiance progressively becomes worse. To the point that not even the ever oblivious Tobio can choose to ignore it. 

At first, he turns a blind eye to Shouyou’s increasingly alarming behavior. But then one day when Tobio returns from relieving himself and finds Shouyou curled on knees, hyperventilating with tears streaming down his face. That’s when Tobio decides he’s had enough.

Seeing Shouyou in such a state spirals in Tobio’s heart like a tumultuous sea wave plummeting out control to break upon the awaiting shore. Every pitfall of his stomach becomes maddening until Tobio can hardly stand being in his own skin. 

He waits until the next night to broach the subject (he’s really afraid of Shouyou’s mindset, so he doesn’t do it immediately).

“Shouyou,” Tobio says firmly, the moment they enter the house. Shouyou freezes in front of him. “Talk to me.”

He doesn’t miss the way Shouyou’s shoulders convulse nor his chin dipping lower. Tobio expects an evasive answer, that’s all he’s been receiving in the months following Shouyou’s return. However, what he gets is, “I want to. I really do want to.”

Tobio is slightly taken aback at the rawness of Shouyou’s words. “Then just do it.”

“I _can’t_ _,”_ Shouyou hisses. His tanned hands curl into fists and his jaw winds tighter than a spring.

Tobio’s brows inch downwards. “Hinata—”

Shouyou whirls around quicker than Tobio’s brain can process and throws a tensed hand in between them. “Shut up.”

White hot pettiness zips up his calves and Tobio screws his eyes shut, momentarily blinded by the need to give the harshest retort he possibly can. “No, there’s something wrong.” 

“So what?”

Tobio physically reels, a hole tearing into the muscle of his heart. “I…I _care_ about you.”

“Well you shouldn’t,” Shouyou growls, finally meeting his eyes. “You really shouldn’t.”

The creaking of his teeth drown in the sound of the blood roaring through his ears. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Steam begins to roll off of Shouyou, the puffs curving before they could touch Tobio—though the torridness is still overpowering. Miniature flames curl around Shouyou’s bare arms and his lips tremble as he speaks. In this moment, he’s a being with the most tremendous power Tobio has ever laid his eyes on, yet his face carves the image of something so terribly distressed. “It means you’re going to crash and burn and there’s not one thing I can do about it. There’s nothing I can do because you’re going to _take me with you."_

“I’m not.”

“You will.”

“Says who?”

“Says _me_ , _”_ Shouyou thunders. The surrounding glass shakes and the stars in the sky shiver. “It’s my fault.”

Tobio lets the final word marinate between them like a wine patiently waiting to be ready. He takes the time to breathe deeply, reigning in his emotions before saying as calmly as he can, “You’re making no sense. _What_ is your fault?”

“You!” Shouyou gestures frantically, his eyes unfocused and feral. “This… _melting_ thing is all because of me.”

The tension in Tobio’s chest releases slightly and his wings shift in relief. “ _That’s_ what this is about? Dumbass, I was cursed. It’s not your fault, you’re the sun—”

“It is when _I’m_ the one who cursed you.”

Tobio is suddenly very, very cold. “…what?”

“I—” Shouyou licks his lips, hands shaking intensely at his sides “I did it. I gave you the wings.”

Shouyou’s eyes are hidden beneath his bangs and his breath comes out in a ragged staccato.

Tobio can’t say he’s in a much better state. He can’t move, can’t even really feel anything except for the chasm opening in his chest. He’s raw and exposed for all the heavens to gaze upon as poison creeps up his throat and bubbles on the back of his tongue. Every heart beat is accompanied by a shrill snap of agony as it grows heavier and heavier.

Tobio croaks, “Why?”

Shouyou’s mouth thins as he gives him a loose shrug.

“Don’t you fucking dare give me that,” Tobio spits. _“Why?"_

Finally, Shouyou meets his gaze, brown eyes empty. “Because I’m selfish. I…I thought you might end up here. With me.”

Tobio takes a step forward and Shouyou’s flames dissipate. “You _cursed_ someone who spent centuries in isolation? What, for your entertainment?” 

“ _No_ _,”_ Shouyou says through his teeth. “I _saved your life_. I could see you from the top of this mountain and then I heard you—”

“Can you reverse it?”

Shouyou opens and closes his mouth several times. Sighing, he murmurs, “If I could, I already would have. But these kinds of things are impossible to undo. I asked.”

Something snaps. Tobio steps forward again and Shouyou automatically backs away but even through the defeat on his face, Tobio knows he won’t back down. So he keeps advancing, footfalls unbearably loud against the flooring and—gods, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing or why he’s doing it. His body is just moving of its own accord, driven by emotions he wishes he could get rid of.

Then Tobio passes that invisible threshold between them, reaches out even though his skin is in the beginning stages of total liquefication. Tobio represses all instincts to recoil and reaches. He touches Shouyou for the first time and shoves. Shouyou’s horrified eyes dart from Tobio’s face to his disappearing fingers as he, like a madman, attempts to regain his balance. “Kageyama, _stop.”_

He doesn’t, giving another agonizing push as his palms disfigure against Shouyou’s shoulders. Tears spring to Tobio’s eyes as every callous touching Shouyou cauterize themselves, spreading from the skin all the way down to his shriveling tendons and evaporating marrow. The white cloth doesn’t stain red as one might expect it to though. There, beneath his fingertips pools a steely wax.

“Stop it! You’re hurting yourself!” He's tripping over his feet, expression wild and desperate in his attempt to get away.

“Don’t act like you don’t wanna hit me,” Tobio snarls against his will. “Don’t fucking stand there and lie to me.”

 _“Enough!_ _”_ Shouyou’s hands clench and his eyes glow. The air surrounding him becomes so alive, Tobio is forced onto his back, clutching his hands to his chest. If he had remained standing, he would have been eviscerated in the spot he stood. “Of course, I want to punch you in the face but I’m not because I’d _never hurt you—“_

“You’ve already done much worse than that.”

An overcast of soul wrenching sorrow passes over Shouyou’s face and before Tobio can configure his next sentence, Shouyou is gone. Tobio is alone once more with only his solidifying disfigurement to keep him company.

The stars stop shining that night. 

And the sun does not appear the next day.

* * *

Tobio had known the sun could soften wax; he has first-hand experience.

But what he hadn’t known is that the sun could break wax.

Unfortunately, he now has a personal familiarity with that too.

* * *

Tobio hides within the depths of the mountain, where no light can hope to reach him. Perhaps he’s being dramatic (a first) when he says he wants not even the smallest, most miniscule contact with any extension of Shouyou. But he absolutely refuses until the raw, stinging opening in his chest becomes less sensitive to the scorching sun.

Of course, Tobio also has much greater problems to deal with than his emotional vulnerability. Such as the fact his hands refuse to return to their natural state. All the other times had ended rather quickly and never had they made direct contact. Maybe that’s why the scorching still hasn’t stopped. Every touch from his hands equates to sizzling agony springing up his arms and drops of his form splattering across the rocks.

Even after…he received the wings, he maintains an appearance of normalcy. However, the exact moment his palm touches an object, he leaves behind ashen residue. His life is dripping from the pores in his fingertips and every drop on the bare rock sets another brick into his stomach. So, his solution is to rest his hands in a constant cradle against his torso.

Tobio doesn’t like being so aware of his idleness. Luckily, Tobio has a solution for that too.

Tobio settles his back against the stone, hands secured safely against him, and he sleeps.

(He sleeps for days.)

* * *

Tobio doesn’t dream, not really. The images dashing behind his eyelids sew—in a painstaking, stitch by stitch pace—the vestiges of his final memories as a mortal.

_“You know, I’m surprised you had friends at all, Tobio.”_

_“I didn’t, really. I only had one and it was you.”_

His gentle awakening clouded with exhaustion is overshadowed by an unexplained fury ripping through his veins. He wishes he could remember why or, preferably, remember what exactly happened.

He chases after it, reaching in a frenzy to _finally_ grasp the answers teasing him. But every time he clasps it, he falls back into unconsciousness.

Tobio doesn’t know if he really wants to sleep anymore; he just doesn’t want to be awake either.

* * *

There comes a point where his body refuses to sleep anymore. Tobio is both grateful and disgruntled about it, despite knowing—with a sense of foreboding—the time for sulking is coming to an end.

That’s why he sits with his wings pressed uncomfortably to the jagged stone, eyes trained in no particular direction for hours—days maybe? He sifts through everything he repressed with tender care, simply because he’s always hated people who wallow (and also for the reason that there’s absolutely nothing else for him to do while he’s here).

But being awake and consciously replaying his argument with Hinata in his head, is a challenge he couldn’t have prepared for. He’s sure he’s become delusional at this point.

Tobio swears he hears his name echoing off the cave walls sometimes. The voice surrounding the syllables sounds awfully like Hinata and as much as Tobio’s pride and wounds try to get in the way, a sense of longing bursts through him.

He writes it off as the wind.

Even so, the reverberation bounces around the chambers of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorryyyyyy. I promise this will resolve next chapter and there's only one other major angst spot besides this one and I will warn you before that!
> 
> My twitter!


	4. If we rise or we fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebuilding, acceptance, and learning to forgive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I've officially divided the rest of the fic into chapter and the rest are going to be much shorter than the first few! Probably 1k-3k per chapter. I hope that's okay! It makes this much easier to edit.  
> I honestly think this is one of my weaker chapters but I hope the make up was satisfying enough to compensate for it. Anyways! Enjoy <3

It is only when Tobio’s lungs are so full of damp air he’s certain he is seconds away from drowning, that he exits his nook. The night air nips at his bare skin and swirls pleasantly in his chest. Tobio drinks it in with gulping reprieve.

His eyes, against his will, drift skyward and the sight makes his heart halt completely. The obsidian consumes all light, the stars can barely be seen at all. Specks glimmer weakly then shrink, swallowed by the murky waves.

It bounces wildly inside Tobio’s head, occasionally striking a nerve leading straight to his core.

Tobio hates it.

(But he hates the starlight dwindling even more.)

“Tobio?”

Tobio’s world blanks. A star twinkles directly in his line of vision in imitation of the abrupt jump in his rib cage. His eyes, once again acting without his permission, dart uphill to the source. Shouyou’s eyes are as large as the tropical leaves in the trees. His hair, tossed haphazardly away from his head, glows by the illumination of the moon. He’s dimmed ever so slightly, constellations less stark on his cheekbones and arms. Tobio has never seen him look so small.

Tobio’s chest is collapsing and expanding and imploding all at once. His head spins with the deluge of emotions crashing incoherently against his skull. Traitorously, his heart rises brightly and comfortably, it sinks to his toes. Confusion at his own reaction, is the only thing he can truly stay grounded in.

Shouyou breathes out and takes a wobbly step forward before retreating, hands contracting and releasing in flashes.

Tobio turns to him, watching intently as Shouyou worries his lip between his teeth and stares at the ground.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Shouyou murmurs into the wind.

Echoes ring in Tobio’s ears and sing in his blood vessels. His mouth tightens in—guilt? Irritation? Probably both.

Dismal eyes meet Tobio’s. They’re too glossy and Tobio’s resolve chinks. Shouyou breathes, “I…I’m so sorry.”

Tobio scowls, head jolting to look at the horizon. The fog in his brain brews and thickens until his balance wavers. His knees lock and he stays on his feet but he’s suddenly so very tired again.

“You’re hurt…” Shouyou’s voice is choked, like his throat is closing.

Tobio presses his hands closer to his chest, doing his best not to wince when the coarse fabric of his shirt brushes against them. If he thought his shirt was pathetic looking before, it is truly revolting now, with its numerous rips and gray stains smearing over his torso.

He glances at Shouyou again.

His small shoulders hunch and his breathing is heavy. “It’s my fault. I’m…oh gods, I’m _so sorry,_ Tobio. There’s nothing I can do. I asked all around the pantheon. They told me I should worry more about—” Shouyou shakes his head viciously, not meeting Tobio’s gaze again “—but that doesn’t matter. I should have tried harder.”

Within a couple beats, Shouyou returns to his full (unimpressive) height and a spark ignites behind those brown irises. “I’m not going to apologize for saving your life though. I don’t regret it. You don’t have to like it, I just…can’t bring myself to be sorry for that. I _am_ sorry I hurt you though. So.” He clears his throat, hardened mask crumpling away. “Yeah.”

Tobio wishes his anger could return to him. Being furious is significantly easier than facing the sensitive rawness beneath the surface. He’s sore and completely vulnerable in places within himself that remain elusive and unfamiliar. Shouyou’s words clog his airways and his body holds them hostage. He wishes he could slink back into the deepest crevice of the mountain. He wants to scrutinize Shouyou’s phrases, to sort and organize them until they make sense like he does with the island’s plants. A perfect response will forever evade him, but then at least he can truly say he _understands._

Tobio also wishes he could give Shouyou the answer he really wants. He wants to forgive him. He wants to go back to being so helplessly…affectionate towards him. He wants to be happy, not only with himself, with _Shouyou_ there too.

But he can’t.

At least not yet.

“Dumbass,” Tobio huffs. “Stop being gushy, it’s weird.”

Shouyou snickers and Tobio’s lips curl into a weak smile.

Tobio isn’t great with words but he knows by Shouyou’s small grin, he understands.

Shouyou isn’t quite forgiven yet.

But this is a really good start.

* * *

Being back in the house is strange—not to mention awkward. However, Tobio can’t bring himself to be upset about it.

Shouyou rounds back to him, clutching something in one of his hands. He gestures to Tobio’s torso with the other. “Give me that.”

“Wh—” Tobio tries to question. But then a wad hits him square in the face and his mouth is full of silky material. Shouyou giggles a couple times and Tobio rolls his eyes, letting the fabric drop to the floor. “Um…”

Tobio maneuvers out of his soiled shirt—with much difficulty unfortunately; his wings and the fire shooting through his fingertips every time they brush anything, do not make an easy combination. He stares at the high-quality tunic lying at his feet.

“Oh,” Shouyou winces. “Here, let me…”

Tobio steps back so Shouyou can pick the shirt up. He arranges it in his hands and it is then that Tobio notices that there is hardly any fabric on the back. There are two large slits with one smaller slit starting at the halfway point, ripping down the back of the fabric and coming together in two knots. The neck is wide, the front is loose, and there are no sleeves at all. Overall, it’s very beautiful with its golden trim and designs, it will be the most exposed Tobio has ever been in a piece of clothing. However, it would be the least difficult thing he could possibly put on.

Shouyou holds the neck on his wrists and gathers the hem in his hands like a mother preparing to dress her child. He smiles softly. “Come on.”

Tobio’s heart stutters and his mouth dries out as he steps forward.

He winces as his palms grow closer to Shouyou’s. As soon as his hands were through the garment, Shouyou releases it and backs away. Tobio feels his sharp eyes observing as he wriggles clumsily into his new shirt. Whenever he needed help, Shouyou would be there, fixing the problem then be gone before his body could register the heat.

There’s something about it that creates an ache in Tobio’s chest that he’s become too acquainted with. Of all the confusion within himself, this is the most irksome. It’s been around the longest and yet still remains unknown to him.

That is until right then.

Right then, when Shouyou beams at him, saying, _“You look good in that shirt, Tobio_ _”_ and Tobio suddenly becomes so aware. Aware of how, underneath all of those powers and titles, there’s a boy. A boy that had a life and family before being confined to an island of total solitude and godhood thrust upon him. A boy that is reckless and stupid and selfish and energetic. A boy that very much resembles a _human._

And—unfortunately, _foolishly—_ despite everything, a boy that Tobio cannot stay away from.

* * *

Shouyou is surprisingly respectful of Tobio’s space in recent days. At any slight indication that he wants to be left to his own devices, Shouyou withdraws—leaving Tobio to bask amongst the wild life on his own as he breathes in the salted air.

He’s quite grateful for it. While sitting and walking and talking with Shouyou are definitely on his list of favorite pastimes, Tobio enjoys his quiet moments spent brushing his arms against various leaves and forms of bark. His feelings are clearer this way; like a multi-dimensional object flattening onto a page, everything is simpler and more comprehensive to his abstract thoughts.

Shouyou’s actions as of late ooze with regret and meticulous care. He’s hyper aware of the precarious situation that he’s in—one faulty step and he will immediately plunge through the thin ice he’s tiptoeing across. (Well, Tobio supposes that Shouyou and ice can't really associate with each other regardless of how cautious his pace is.)

Tobio likes having him around regardless. There’s a certain freedom Tobio can only find when around the little god, watching him, laughing at him.

Tobio halts in his aimless path, gaze drifting upwards. Squinting, his head cocks to the side as he tries to identify the flower several yards above him. The fiery reds and oranges smolder together on the fanning petals and it immediately reminds him of Shouyou’s wild mass of hair. He’s almost certain the flower is called _Spathodea campanulata_ —at least that’s his best guess as to its identity. To be certain he’d have to view it closer.

He glances around the forest floor, finding no signs of any fallen buds. Tobio frowns, an almost-pout jutting at his lower lip as the mechanics of his brain groan and strain for a solution. He used to simply climb to the top of trees and inspect any interesting specimens from there; however, now that is out of the question and Tobio is at a loss.

In the midst of his consideration, the masses on his back become heavy, ligaments creaking and twitching in misuse. Tobio flaps his wings a single time, considering them with his eyes for a brief moment before returning to the tawny flowers outlining the canopy of deep emerald.

Tobio blinks, a new awareness of his body crashing down on him. Suddenly, the wings on his back are not simply an accessory, but they are now a part of him.

He rests his weight fully on the balls of his feet, heels off the ground and his ever-dissolving hand outstretched to these vibrant plants. Every fiber of his being is drawn to such an exuberant creation of nature.

Starting, Tobio retracts his hand and settles to the ground. His heart is bubbly in his chest and yet it feels molten. Almost like he’s burning from the inside out now.

Tobio turns away, shoulders caving in on himself as he jogs the whole way home.

* * *

The time he spends alone shrinks—shorter and shorter just as the days begin to.

Hours spent apart equates to days spent together.

Tobio slowly slots the pieces of his broken trust back together again.

Even as the air surrounding them both grows cold, Tobio heats.

* * *

“Why did you save me? From falling to my death after escaping the labyrinth, I mean.”

“You asked for help and the other gods ignored you, probably because they knew who you were but...I wanted to. You _were_ praying, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I was.”

* * *

Forgiveness is a fickle thing, Tobio concludes.

He’s alone and staring at the flaming flower yet again. This time though, he leaps, allowing his feet to escape the earth. Tobio lets his wings guide him higher and his heart thrashes like an aquatic beast thrust upon land.

He hovers at the breaking point between the leaves and the sky beyond, faced with the flowers he so admires.

Tobio can’t feel with his hands anymore so he does the only thing he can.

His face tilts forward. The ends of the petals tickle the tip of his nose in a soft kiss.

Forgiveness may be fickle, he ponders as a soft smile graces his lips. Tobio thinks he can manage it though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this installment!  
> I'll be back with the next chapter soon! Have a wonderful day/evening, comments/kudos are appreciated, etc. <3


	5. We are cast about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fun times and more confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one I have affectionately given the alternate title, "The Beach Episode." I think you guys will like this one. Enjoy <3

“What did the other gods tell you to worry about?”

Shouyou starts, turning to blink owlishly at him. “What?”

“When you were talking a few days ago. You said the other gods were telling you to worry about something else.”

“Oh. Uh…” Shouyou licks his lips and his shoulders become as rigid as the cliff right next to them. He glares down at the plush trees over the edge. “Can I tell you later?”

Tobio’s jaw tightens. He does his best to quell the immediate need to lash out. “Shouyou.”

“I’ll tell you. I promise,” Shouyou pleads.

“Bu—”

“Please.”

Their gazes lock together, like earth colliding with the sky across the horizon. Tobio has never been good at reading people, but even he isn’t too blind to see the fear in Shouyou’s eyes. He doesn’t know what a god could possibly be afraid of. The other gods, maybe? That—unfortunately—is something that Tobio understands.

Maybe this small relation is what compels Tobio to spit out _"_ _fine”_ instead of continuing to argue as he usually would. Shouyou regards him briefly before ripping his gaze away to look out at the sea.

Tobio’s life is far too entwined with the gods. Clearly, it’s only brought him pain. And, if Shouyou’s expression is any indication—darting eyes, bruised and bitten lower lip—maybe it’s the same way for him.

* * *

Shouyou gasps, jolting from his laid-back position. Tobio’s heart twinges at Shouyou’s round eyes and parted lips. His face heats, much to his own annoyance. “What?”

“What do you mean—” Shouyou’s pout is interrupted by a sudden scowl “— ‘what?’” Tobio blinks, slowly realizing that Shouyou meant to imitate his dry tone (and failed miserably). However, the jut to his lower lip reappears on his face immediately after his sentence drops off.

Tobio’s hand twitches and he has to tighten his biceps to keep from reaching out to flick the smooth expanse of Shouyou’s forehead. “Why are you looking at me like _that?”_

Shouyou nose scrunches again. “Because you’ve never been to the beach!”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”

“We’re on an _island,_ stupid.”

Tobio opens his mouth to retort, however, no clever reply comes out. In the end, the sound that exits his mouth is a sputter, “We didn’t have the ocean where I lived when I was human.”

_“Were?”_ Shouyou’s head cocks to the side. “You’re still a human, aren’t you?”

Tobio flounders again for words. “Well, not entirely I don’t think—” He stops himself (from further embarrassing himself, he’s sure) as soon as he sees Shouyou bite his lower lip to hide his grin. His shoulders shake under the force of silent chuckles. “I hate you.”

Shouyou’s laughter blooms in the air between them and the tension in Tobio’s chest tightens. Shouyou grins and leaps from their pallet on the floor. “Come on!”

“What are you doing?” Tobio’s brow furrows.

“We,” Shouyou announces proudly, sifting through a pile of clothing on the floor, “are going to the beach.”

Tobio gaze is drawn to the telltale watercolor strokes of dying daylight across the sky. “But it’s almost night—?”

Shouyou shakes his head as he spins with a flourish. “Doesn’t matter! We are going, and you, Grumpy-yama, are going to have the best time _ever.”_

Tobio rolls his eyes but rises nonetheless to follow Shouyou into the light of the setting sun.

Shouyou marches the entire way there, not at all phased by the darkness quickly sweeping over the treetops. Tobio trips over roots and nearly runs into various plant life on multiple occasions (he eventually resorts to lurching back with a flap of his wings).

Finally, when the sun is long gone, and the stars twinkle happily amongst the obsidian, they arrive at the sandy landscape.

Shouyou whoops, bounding straight toward the ocean with his arms flailing wildly—in a very ungod-like fashion, if Tobio can comment on such a subject. However, any sort of protest Tobio has immediately shrivels in his throat when Shouyou unties the gold rope from his waist and reaches for the hem of his chiton.

An entirely undignified noise rips from Tobio’s throat as Shouyou’s clothes come flying off. “What the _hell?"_ Tobio’s eyes shoot to the ground. He focuses on the individual grains shifting between his toes as he plants his feet.

“What? Something wrong?”

Tobio glances at Shouyou, who—thankfully—had put on a short linen skirt underneath his clothes while Tobio hadn’t been paying attention (though it isn’t exactly _much_ for him to have on alone). Shouyou puffs his bare chest, a small and smug grin tugging at his lips.

Tobio’s teeth grit together. _“No_ , stupid.”

Shouyou’s laugh trickles along with the rolling waves across the beach. “Are you ready?”

Tobio sniffs, shuffling to stand beside Shouyou. He looks to Shouyou’s face and finds his eyes already on Tobio’s face. Even within the surrounding dusk, the amber of his irises glint with molten gold and hopeful patience which sink into Tobio’s heart with too much ease. “Of course.”

“Good,” Shouyou murmurs, smile growing as he twirls towards the water.

Tobio stares at the expanse of roiling waters extending before him. The line where the seas meet the sky is smeared and the moon’s reflection is wobbly with movement. One by one, the stars begin to blaze brighter than ever before, shimmering atop the waves and riding them until they reach the shore. (Tobio likes the sound of starlight meeting the earth.)

He glances at Shouyou’s face as an idea creeps into the back of his brain. Tobio shifts his weight as casually as he can, stretching out his calves and thighs. He sighs, drawing Shouyou’s attention to him. Tobio has to fight to keep his face school into his usual neutral expression. “Race you.”

Then Tobio takes off. He doesn’t get far before he realizes the less-than-ideal type of situation he’s put himself in: running on sand. Grains fly in every direction and his feet sink with every bounding step. However, as soon as he hears the squawk from Shouyou, something breaks free within his chest and Tobio laughs breathlessly.

Soft footfalls approach him from behind at a rapid pace. There is absolutely no way he’s going to win at this rate—not when Shouyou is far more familiar with the terrain (and is already a little faster in the first place, though Tobio would _never_ say so to his face).

As his last resort, Tobio uses his wings to boost himself, slightly hovering above the ground as he bounds further ahead of the small god.

Shouyou sputters. “Wha—! No fair!”

“Is to!”

Shouyou growls but says nothing else. Not that it would matter anyways; Tobio reaches the edge of the water soon after, huffing out a victorious chuckle as Shouyou grinds to a halt next to him.

“Didn’t you say you could beat me without using your wings?” The competitive and passive aggressive edge of this god never ceases to amaze Tobio.

“I did, and I was right about it. I’ve beaten you before. Multiple times, _many_ times actually.”

Shouyou kicks damp sand on Tobio’s leg and sticks out his tongue. “The score is still 260 to 262 with me in the lead. I’m not counting this one because _someone_ cheated.”

Tobio snorts, rolling his eyes at the sheer childishness of their whole competition and how it only _continues to get more childish._ It’s mostly Shouyou’s fault anyways. (There was one instance in which Tobio “accidentally” flung a branch into the unsuspecting face of his opponent and another where he threw a handful of dirt onto Shouyou’s pristinely white clothing after a particularly harsh loss, but he refuses to acknowledge those at this moment.)

Tobio ignores Shouyou’s never-ceasing attempts to rile him up and focuses on the waves growing closer to his bare feet. The very second the water laps at his feet, Tobio jerks, taking two large steps backward.

Why the hell is it so cold? It may be winter but it’s still rather warm. Hell, forget that, the _fucking sun_ lives on this island and the water is _still_ that frigid? No way. He’s not getting in there, no matter what the bastard who brought him here says—

“Aw, Tobio is scared of the little waves,” Shouyou snickers, his smile wild and utterly wicked in the moonlight.

Tobio glares at him, willing a tsunami to erupt from the open ocean and wipe Shouyou from the face of the planet with its freezing water. “No, I’m not.”

Shouyou’s grin grows sharper than ever. “Then _prove it.”_

Tobio does not break eye contact for a single second as he marches directly into an incoming wave. The swell breaks around his calves and the sand parts to swallow Tobio’s feet up to his ankles. He clenches his teeth, but the relentless chattering causes his jaw to tremble.

Their gazes break once another, larger wave knocks against Tobio’s knees and his focus switches to keeping his balance among the forever shifting sand grains beneath his toes. He’s so engrossed in not tipping over that he doesn’t register the splashing behind him until it is far too late.

With the most disgusting _shlop_ noise Tobio has ever had the displeasure of hearing, a wet mass of what he can only assume is sand lands right in the center of his back between his wings. His balance is thrown into some far corner of the island as his whole body careens forward.

Tobio honestly isn’t sure whether the resounding yelp is his or Shouyou’s as he flops with the grace of a potbellied pig directly into the water.

It isn’t until the sea drowns out Shouyou’s frantic calling of his name that Tobio realizes the blood chilling reality of being submerged in the swelling ocean.

His hands. His stupid injured hands.

The surface of his palms tingle in small pinpricks that echo in Tobio’s unmoving heart. Luckily, before pure panic can take hold, Tobio’s feet find purchase and he propels himself to the surface with little trouble.

“Oh gods, are you okay? I’m s-so sorry, Kageyama. I didn’t mean—” Shouyou’s words catch in his throat as his alarmed eyes rove over his body before settling on Tobio’s arms.

Silence reigns as they both take in the state of his hands.

They aren’t melting any more. The waxen skin frozen in droplets over his finger pads and dripping down his palms but never leaving his body. The fault lines carved there are now filled with drips and the rest is bumpy scar tissue. It’s a rather disturbing sight, especially since his skin tone has returned, only serving to make it even uglier. However, it’s _not melting off his body._

Tobio’s heart pounds in an unsteady and erratic rhythm as he curls his fingers. The skin is tight, too tight for him to even dream of making an actual fist, but he can run his palms over one another and up his arms without anything marring what he touches, without any pain. “Holy…holy _shit.”_

His gaze only wavers when another pair of hands enter his field of vision, tentative and trembling. Shouyou’s eyebrows are twitching inward and his lips part slightly to release his shaky breaths. He looks caught between seconds in time, flitting back and forth through an array of expressions that blend and fuse into one another until they are nearly unrecognizable. His fingers slowly uncurl as if to reach out and touch the pads of his fingers to Tobio’s open palm. Shouyou blinks several times and shakes his head. Jerkily, his arms return to his sides and his hands curve in on themselves.

Before Tobio can truly decipher what happened with Shouyou, fiery eyes trace over his features and an awe-inspiring smile robs the oxygen right from Tobio’s useless lungs. “You’re not hurting?”

Air passes through Tobio’s mouth but it doesn’t carry any sound with it. Tobio clears his throat. “No.”

“That’s…” Shouyou trails, inspecting Tobio from head to toe once more as he wets his lips. Tobio forces himself to give any outward signs of squirming under the scrutiny. Could he try not to look so _intense?_ Tawny meets a dark azure as their eyes catch once more. Tobio swears the water warms and his cheek begins to twitch with distant irritation and nervousness.

Shouyou lurches suddenly, chest puffing out as his grin grows wolfish. “I _told you_ the beach was cool.”

The tension breaks and snaps back into Tobio’s chest like a taunt wire that is suddenly cut. Tobio clicks his tongue. “We’ve hardly done anything yet.”

Shouyou’s grin widens in a way that gives off a foreboding _you’re going to eat your words, just you wait._ Without much preamble, he flops his entire body into the next wave, crouching as he lets the tow move him where it pleases. “Get down here, idiot.”

Tobio narrows his eyes but complies anyways, mirroring Shouyou’s position and adjusting as needed to accommodate his larger frame. It’s not as easy to completely give himself to the flow due to the wings protruding from his back, the jarring temperature, and his distrust of where it might carry him.

“Relax,” Shouyou says, a gentle tease lilting his voice. “You’re so tensed up.”

Tobio’s frown deepens. “No, I’m not.”

Shouyou snorts—loud, echoing, and irksome—but says nothing more.

Tobio grasps his legs tighter and lowers his chin to brush the ocean’s surface. This angle makes even the tiniest and unimposing of waves seem so much larger, almost impossible for him not to be knocked over with. But that never happens. He’s simply able to bob in languid motions as the sea itself cradles him in its arms like a mother would a newborn. The thought is comforting, at the very least, and Tobio allows his shoulders to ease slightly.

Just as Tobio begins to drift, eyes drooping as if weighted down, a bead of water lands directly on the bridge of his nose. He scrunches his face, letting it drip down his cheek and gather at his jaw before rejoining the ocean.

Another drop lands squarely on his forehead and he fully opens his eyes. Without paying much mind, he flicks water in Shouyou’s direction.

“Sh! No!”

Tobio gapes. “Wha—?”

Shouyou splashes him a little, bare anything against the insistent surf. “I’m relaxing. You’re not gonna ruin this for me.”

“Dumbass,” Tobio mutters, using more force against the sea’s waves to soak the side of Shouyou’s face.

“Hey!”

Tobio plants his mouth into a thin bored line as he sends another surge in his direction.

“Do you wanna fight me or something?!”

Tobio snickers. “No. There’s not much for me to fight anyways.”

Shouyou sputters, standing abruptly and kicking at Tobio. His entire head is now thoroughly drenched, the ends of his hair poke the end of his nose and dripping directly into his eyes. Tobio’s lips twist in distaste. He buries his feet into the sand below, pushing his fringe away from his face with one hand and resting his elbow on his knee. He turns to peer at Shouyou, the harsh insults building in the back of his throat begging to be unleashed.

However, as soon as he sees the borderline grimace stretching Shouyou’s red cheeks and his pale eyebrows furrowing, his irritation dissipates. What the hell is _that_ look for?

As he inhales to snap at Shouyou, he sends another stream of water directly into his face and rushes away from the beach. Tobio scrambles to his feet, swiping at his eyes and darting after him. (He really does his best to ignore the odd clench in his heart as it warms every empty space in his chest.)

Tobio shakes his head, using his entire arm to send the best wave he can manage rolling towards Shouyou. The frigid water engulfs Shouyou like an unused quilt and for a blessed second, all is quiet. That is, until Shouyou bursts through the surface like a boneless rooster trying to crow at the morning light.

Tufts of orange clump along his forehead and cheekbones as he huffs at Tobio. Tobio, try as he might, cannot contain the chuckles that rumble deep in his chest.

Shouyou launches a retaliation wave and Tobio’s lips curve into a lopsided smile. Though it immediately disappears when a stray droplet flies right into his mouth and Tobio is overwhelmed by the most _foul_ liquid he’s ever tasted.

Tobio’s stomach roils unpleasantly as he tries desperately to rid his tongue of the salty monstrosity that just assaulted it. “I hate the beach. And I hate—” Tobio gives the water the most aggressive glare he can manage with watering eyes. “I _hate_ the ocean,” he spits.

Shouyou howls with obnoxious laughter that drags on for well over the appropriate amount of time. He grasps at his abdomen as he wheezes and Tobio’s jaw tenses. “I hate _you_ most of all.”

Shouyou digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, still doubled over. “I don’t even care. Your face was the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

Tobio growls, molten embarrassment resting across his cheek bones. “I’m going to kill you.”

There’s only a brief suspended second in which nothing happens, even Shouyou’s tirade pauses. Then chaos runs rampant.

Tobio isn’t sure who moves first, but now Shouyou is frantically sloshing to the shallows shrieking at maximum capacity with Tobio in hot pursuit. The sea heaves them to and fro, making progress as slow moving as the minutes during a lonely day. Shouyou cackles as he moves deeper into the water, up to his waist, and Tobio follows, roaring strings of abrasive curses directed at Shouyou.

Somewhere in Tobio’s mind, he’s aware that this game they’re playing is utterly useless; there can’t truly be a winner when one could end up burnt and the other with guilt cementing in their sternum. Tobio wishes more than ever before that he could tackle Shouyou, knock him over and thread his fingers through those unruly curls, grasping the roots tighter than necessary until he relents with a whine. But even so…

Shouyou trips over his own feet and lands face first for the second time that night before bouncing upright again, eyes bright and carefree as he races away.

Even so, as Shouyou’s laughter skips across the surf and nestles itself right where his heart is, Tobio doesn’t think any other moment measures up to this.

* * *

“Do you think we could conquer the sky if we tried to?”

Tobio buries his face deeper into his own bicep as sleep itches at the backs of his eyelids. “You’re literally the fucking sun and stars though.”

“Yeah,” Shouyou breathes the word in a pathetic laugh. Tobio can practically see him curled against the wall, face wistfully tilted to the transparent ceiling. “But with you I feel like I could be more than that.”

The dangerous thud of Tobio’s heart capering about could have shaken the entire foundation of the earth with its force. “You do?” He clears his throat in an attempt to get rid of the strained edge. “What do you feel like then?”

“Invincible.”

A single word should never carry such an absolute meaning to Tobio. But, just as the person who spoke them, it shatters every expectation and barricade that resides within him. “…me too.”

There are shuffles. Tobio can feel Shouyou’s eyes bore right into where the wings fade to his shoulders. “So, you think we could do it?”

His soft question reverberates in Tobio’s heart like the batting of a butterfly’s wings.

“Yeah…” His voice is equally as tentative and delicate as Shouyou’s but equally coated in earnestness. Yeah, I think we could.”

* * *

Tobio has never been so fascinated with hands. When the first rays of light strike his eyelids, his gaze fixates to the newfound topography of his hands. Shouyou is equally as intrigued if the quirk of his head is anything to go by.

The erratic undulated surface reminds Tobio of the meticulous lines the sea draws in the sand. Creases believed to foretell the future are mirages of their former selves—unreadable and uncertain. These facts add up to the lack of flexibility suddenly wrought on his hands. Honestly, it’s a miracle that he can utilize his hands at all.

Certain fingers are able to bend inwards more than others; his thumbs are the lithest whereas his forefingers are rigid and nearly unyielding. Trying to form a fist is now jumble of awkward angles and tight skin stretching over his knuckles.

The color isn’t the dull, lifeless gray it had been the day before, but the hue is still tinged a pale ash—a pastel counterpart of the wings attached to his back. At a glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary. However, when truly inspected, the distinct lines between where his skin had touched Shouyou for the first time are easy to spot.

Tobio swallows, desperately suppressing the bile that insists on crawling up his throat. He’s not disgusted—at least, he _shouldn’t_ be. It’s a blessing, truly. Yet as much as he’s fascinated, the mantra of _‘monster’_ will not leave him.

Tobio squeezes his eyes shut, dragging himself from his pallet to sit on the rug.

“I’m in love with you.”

Tobio’s heart stops dead in its tracks. It only lasts a moment before his heart bursts through its gates, thrashing like an untamed beast and tangling in his veins. He whirls to Shouyou, who’s still in his spot against the glass wall, arm draping lazily atop his perched knee. The first rays of day burst over the mountain right as Shouyou turns his eyes towards Tobio with a soft upturn of his lips. The breath catches in Tobio’s throat. Shouyou has never looked more divine. “You…huh?”

Shouyou wrinkles his nose, smile growing. “I knew you were clueless but wow. This is a whole new level.”

Tobio can’t bring himself to sputter a response. In fact, he can’t bring himself to respond at all. His fingertips are numb and shaking, the muscles in his jaw are completely slack, and the rush of unfamiliar feelings clog his throat. “But you’re…a god?”

“Yeah?”

“And—you? _Me?”_

“Tobio.”

At Shouyou’s quiet call, Tobio snaps from his confused haze to see Shouyou kneeling on the other side of the pallet. Shouyou’s small hands fiddle with the hem of his chiton, tugging it further up his thighs and wholly _not helping._

“You don’t have to say it back,” he murmurs like the words might shatter after they fall from his mouth. “I only wanted you to know that you’re loved.” Shouyou glances up through his lashes and breaks into a lopsided grin. “You’re loved by me.”

Tobio is almost certain that he’s going to die of heart complications at any given moment. His most vital organ is out in the open air, suffocating in Shouyou’s grip. He’s vulnerable, exposed, and he’s not even the one who confessed. Shouyou doesn’t attempt to draw a response from him; he sits like he hasn’t splayed all his inner emotions right in front of Tobio.

Finally, Tobio manages a wheezy “thank you” and just like that, time snaps back into place. Their day continues on as normal—bickering and snarky comments still ever present—but Tobio feels something lighter in the air. _I’m happy_ _,_ Tobio thinks as Shouyou squawks about a minor inconvenience. Freckled arms flail and try to accurately convey a foreign concept to Tobio. It fails. Shouyou whines, flails more, and promptly bursts into giggles, his face stretched wide and bright. Tobio joins him and thinks again, _I’m so fucking happy._

On this day, Tobio discovers that the title ‘monster’ no longer fits him like it used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DDD hehe. Hope you liked it!!  
> twitter


	6. Futile and Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shouyou shares what has been bothering him and Tobio remembers more about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty bittersweet. There are some really important things revealed in this chapter that marks what the rest of the plot is going to look like but there are also some romance-y moments in there :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

When Shouyou calls out to Tobio amidst the quiet morning air, Tobio slumps in relief. Shouyou had been picking at his cuticles, shifting his weight, and staring off into oblivion the entire morning. It prodded at the memories of Shouyou right before their fight and that alone is enough to feed the beast of anxiety lingering in Tobio’s stomach. That, and it’s only been a day since Shouyou confessed. Tobio shakes off the lies hissed at him—the ones that claim Shouyou was being insincere the day before, that Tobio was incapable of being loved.

Honestly, the part that bothers him most is Shouyou’s silence. Tobio respects his privacy, just as Shouyou does his, so he doesn’t prod. And though Tobio _knows_ something is rattling in that empty head, Tobio decides he’ll give Shouyou time—a week, at most, and a handful days, at least. But thankfully Shouyou only needed a few hours and some fresh air.

After several minutes sitting at the edge of the cliff, chewing absently on ripe fruit and looking out to the ocean, Shouyou speaks up.

“Tobio?”

Tobio shoves down the fluttering in his heart. “Yeah?”

“Um.” Shouyou tugs at the curls on the base of his head and eyes Tobio without moving his face. “You asked me a while ago what the other gods said I should be worried about?”

“I remember.” Tobio mentally traces Shouyou’s profile, soft and ethereal in the backlighting of the sun.

Shouyou clears his throat. “Well. I’m sorry I brushed you off like that. It was rude of me and I should really stop keeping these kinds of things to myself. It was also wrong of me to dump my feelings on you without telling you this first.”

Tobio’s throat is dry enough to crack and his increased heart rate isn’t doing him any favors either. “Tell me what?”

Shouyou takes a slow breath, deliberate and shaky. He turns his body to face Tobio. “Do you remember when I was telling you about how being the god of the stars works?”

Tobio nods, chunking the rest of his fruit off the side of the cliff.

“How I’m one of many ‘Hinata’s?”

Another nod.

Shouyou covers his face with his hands. “Oh gods. This is harder than I thought—um.” His chest heaves with each laborious intake of breath. Tobio’s heart aches and his fingers twitch with the need to comfort the retreating form of the little god. But before Tobio can move, Shouyou’s hands curl up and thump down onto his thighs.

He meets Tobio’s gaze head on and, in a strange twist of reality, Tobio wishes he wouldn’t. It’s almost unbearable, the wet drops sticking to Shouyou’s lashes and the sorrowful wrinkles etched into his freckled skin. “The next incarnate will take my place soon.”

The cool breeze freezes, as does the rest of time. Tobio’s head swirls and dances, flitting from thought to thought like an eager hummingbird. It doesn’t feel real, like he isn’t even in control of his own body. Everything in him is reacting in vastly different ways and it is crushing him, depriving him of air. He chokes, “When?”

“A month,” Shouyou says, tone dry and trembling.

“You’re…leaving?”

Shouyou’s shoulders shrink inwards. “Something like that.”

“Why?” Tobio’s hands curl into the smooth fabric of his shirt.

“I’m burning, Tobio.”

Incredulously, manically, Tobio laughs. “I think that’s my line.” He gestures unsteady hands towards Shouyou. “How is that possible for you?”

“As Fate would have it, containing all of the energy in the stars is very taxing, no matter what form it takes.”

Tobio recalls Shouyou’s increased body heat as of late. They had to stand further apart than normal but Tobio had thought it was only his imagination—that it only felt that way because of his desire to be closer, to touch Shouyou.

“No,” Tobio shakes his head. “No, you…you can’t _leave."_

Shouyou presses his knees to his chest. He rests his forehead on his arms and his gold circlet tips off his head, clattering harshly against the rocks. “I have to. I’m so sorry but I don’t have a choice.”

Tobio pushes the heels of his palms to his temples, inky hair falling haphazardly over his eyes as he stares blankly at his lap. The edges of his hollow chest prickle and sting with every shallow exhale. Shouyou is leaving and not coming back. He’s not coming back for _him_ _._ Gods, he’s so selfish. He’s so damn selfish for thinking of himself at this time, keeping Shouyou from his final responsibilities, for disrupting the last years of his divinity, for _wanting Shouyou to stay._

“Tobio?”

Tobio shakes his head, puts more pressure onto the sides of his head. Everything is too much. His thoughts, the wind’s whispers, Shouyou’s warmth, even the sensation of clothes touching his skin is so overwhelming. Everything he’s come to know and love in his new life is fading away and there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“Tobio, I…” Shouyou breathes out harshly. “I’ll make sure you’re taken care of, I pro—”

“No.” Tobio growls. “Don’t say that. You’ve already made so many promises, don’t make another one.”

Shouyou doesn’t move, solemn silence settling atop the tension between them. When he speaks his voice is broken but stern. “I can’t help it. If I say it, that means it will happen. If I say that you’ll be okay…” Tobio glances at Shouyou’s tortured expression. “If I say you’ll be okay then I can leave knowing that it’s true.”

Tobio’s heart twists unnaturally, painfully.

“When I say things, they mean something to this world for whatever reason,” Shouyou continues. “Making promises is the most powerful thing I have at my disposal and I want you to be able to be happy when I’m gone. I can’t take back what I did to you. It’s something that can’t be undone but—”

“What did you say while I was falling?” Tobio can’t reign in his curiosity.

Shouyou hesitates briefly. “I just said, ‘fly.’ It doesn’t have to be an explicit promise—”

Tobio slams his hands to the ground, wild eyes meeting Shouyou’s wide ones. “I’m coming with you.”

“Y-you can’t,” Shouyou’s voice cracks. He crawls closer, as close as he dares. “Tobio, _please."_

Tobio leans in; he’s almost too near to the heat, wax beads on his nose, barely holding on. Shouyou’s amber eyes flash in concern but Tobio plows forward. “You said I would rise and set with you and that I would live on with you. And you meant that, I _know_ you did. So, wherever you go, I’m coming with you—that’s _my_ promise to you.”

Neither of them says anything; Tobio doesn’t know what else he can say. He could be running on false hope and wobbly theories. In fact, it’s very likely that’s exactly the case. But Tobio can’t bring himself to pay that too much mind, not when Shouyou’s cheeks are stretched in a tiny smile. Tobio’s chest, against his better judgement, brims with a tenderness as intense and encompassing as his previous panic.

Shouyou lightly bites his bottom lip and his gaze flits lower on Tobio’s face before he looks fully at the rocky ground. He laughs breathlessly and lets a wide grin spread across his sweet face. “Okay then. I’ll hold you to that.”

The tightness in Tobio deflates. “Okay.”

Shouyou’s fingers wrap around a small piece of rock, brushing it off as he brings it up to his face to inspect it. His eyes cross trying to look at it and Tobio snorts at the stupid expression. Then, quicker than Tobio’s brain can properly process it, Shouyou presses his lips to the stone and throws it at Tobio.

He doesn’t have time to blink or flinch and the projecting rock hits him squarely on the cheek. “Wh—! _Ow!_ What the hell, dumbass?”

Shouyou shrieks, scrambling back. “I didn’t mean to do that! Oh gods, are you okay?”

“You threw a rock at me?”

“It was supposed to be romantic!”

“You _threw a rock at me!”_

Shouyou lets out a garbled sound and buries his glowing red face in his hands. “I know!”

“Dumbass!” Tobio blindly grasps a pebble, pecks it, then sends it flying in Shouyou’s direction.

It hits him above the knuckle of his left ring finger and he yelps. He gapes at Tobio, wrinkle etched between his brows. “H-hey! At least I kissed mine first! You just threw that at me!”

Tobio’s face is engulfed in heat as he fully processes what Shouyou had been trying to do. And what he’d automatically (attempted) to do right back. His lips form a wobbly line across his face and his heart kickstarts. Tobio clears his throat. “You deserved it.”

Shouyou sticks his tongue out. “You’re such a meanie. _Meanie-yama."_

“Yeah, yeah,” Tobio grumbles, turning so his reddening face couldn’t be seen by the bouncing god.

Shouyou makes it a habit—kissing objects (that aren’t pointy or hard) and then throwing them full-force at Tobio’s face. Tobio chunks them at the back of his head in retaliation. Every once in a while, unbeknownst to Shouyou, he presses his own lips to it before enacting his revenge.

* * *

That night Tobio dreams like he did in the cave all those months ago.

His back is pressed into the sandy ground, all of his limbs depleted of energy and a bump forming on the back of his skull. His surroundings refuse to reveal themselves; the world around him is messily stroked with dripping white paint.

A face snarls at him. Every time he can remember one of the features—the eyes, nose, mouth—the others slip away from him. Whoever they were, they weren’t supposed to be here. This place, though deconstructed and crumbling, Tobio knows is his—a place no person in the town knew about. A blurred version of someone he once knew yanks him closer. _“Do you know who I am, Kageyama?”_

Tobio doesn’t answer. He blinks several times, head swirling as he tries to comprehend the sight in front of him. His focus shifts, his world tilts, the coppery taste of blood coats his tongue and runs down his chin. Water laps lazily at his ears. The person shakes him.

 _“I’m blessed by god!”_ He seethes, giving Tobio another shake. _“I’m the one keeping the curses you bring away from everyone else! They don’t deserve to suffer because of a monster like you.”_

He’s right, Tobio’s mind echoes. A boney knee drives into his sternum and the loose sand groans with him, water over taking his head. Black dots at the edges of his vision and the paint begins to chip away, floating around them like paper rain. The person continues, holding him beneath the water, more distorted than ever. _“It’s not their fault your mother had you. She created something like you, so she should have been killed for what she did. We’re all_ glad she’s dead.”

Tobio stops feeling, only the vague sound of cicadas buzzes through his body. It’s best that he doesn’t relive that portion of his memory. Especially not when he shoves the person off of him, the foggy landscape expanding enough for Tobio to see their form land nearby.

They scream, bloodcurdling and ragged as the dark water consumes them.

There wasn’t supposed to be a drop off there.

They weren’t supposed to not know how to swim.

Tobio wasn’t supposed to cause the death of the magistrate’s favorite child.

But Fate doesn’t care about what’s supposed to happen. The next time Tobio woke up, he was in a never-ending labyrinth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor babies. Buckle in, you guys, because things are kicking into gear now. Have a lovely day/evening <3
> 
> twitter


	7. With our fortunes made of dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shouyou gives up his title and Tobio finally voices his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I think this is probably the angstiest chapter and has a sort of character death? Honestly, it's more along the lines of "Riding into the sunset" as it fades to black, nothing is explicit and it is only implied in the last line.

The following month is decidedly the shortest of Tobio’s entire existence.

Shouyou carefully explains the details of the ceremony that would usher in the new sun god and “release him of his duties.” (Tobio learns that the gods don’t think of this as death, but as a new beginning, the setting of the sun, if you will.)

There will be an official ceremony in the realm of the gods, where he would be dressed in fine silks and drenched in silver and gold. They’ll adorn him with small chains and jewelry, one large headpiece the center of attention—each one representing the weight of every sun and star standing out against the drapes of dark blues and blacks of the sky. In his weakening state, he’ll hardly be able to carry himself as he strolls down the hallways, every candle extinguishing after he passes.

Shouyou will reach the gods’ throne room, it will go almost pitch black, and the gods will part to make way for him. At the end of the marble aisle will be the new Hinata—dressed only in a ragged skirt or chiton (whichever is preferred). Slowly, to the rhythm of a thundering waltz, Shouyou and the new god will walk towards each other. In a flurry of movement, the other gods will begin to remove Shouyou’s clothing. When they reach the middle, all of Shouyou’s garments will be gone and half of the room will be saturated with night, the other with day. As they march on, the light begins to follow the new god and the other gods dress them in the ceremonial robes previously on Shouyou, as the room's darkness is overtaken.

Finally, they will both reach opposite ends of the aisle and Shouyou will start the vows of the star god. The other will complete them and the responsibilities will officially be passed on. From there, the two will travel back to the island, where Shouyou will pass on his “wisdom” and the last of his divinity on to the next person. He’ll have until the end of that day before his body ceases to exist and his soul goes on.

Tobio can’t be there. Something about him “not being a god” and “making the god that cursed him angry again” or some shit. (He jokes with Shouyou about it in a futile attempt to calm their nerves. Shouyou loosens ever so slightly after it but Tobio can tell that he’s nervous.)

Even though he can’t attend the ceremony itself, Tobio clings to every description Shouyou is willing to give him. What happens after the ceremony is widely unknown by the both of them. They might have an approximation, but they can never truly know until it happens. According to Shouyou, he’ll continue to live on, and in turn, so will Tobio—well, their souls will. But eliminating one element of that unknown (the ceremony) is rather comforting to Tobio.

(Though he wishes he could be there to give Shouyou his silent support more than anything.)

Over the month, Shouyou grows weaker, eventually opting out of their daily races and sitting on the edge of the beach for hours on end. (They decide to call their scores a tie but Shouyou vows that he’ll beat him properly someday. Tobio looks forward to that.) His body grows incredibly warm, warmer than it ever had been before. Letting the ocean waves lap around his ankles and wrists makes it more bearable for the both of them. His grasp on godhood is fading, along with his power over the heavens.

The night before the ceremony, they both sit within the house, as close as they can with Shouyou’s unbearably hot skin. He’s sweating. Even in the passing days, Shouyou has never broken a sweat. His condition has worsened to an extent Tobio hadn’t prepared himself for. It _hurts_ to see Shouyou hold himself back like this, even if it is for his own safety.

Shouyou plops down on the pallet. From the dark blue rings under his eyes and even breathing, Tobio assumes that he’s gone to sleep—another unusual sign of Shouyou’s state. He’s facing Tobio from the very edge of their makeshift bed. His circlet is still on, though crooked and stabbing into his forehead and the arm he’s using as a pillow. Orange overgrown curls move with every soft breath coming from his parted lips. His freckled skin still glows in celestial peacefulness.

A tiny sigh escapes his lips and his lashes flutter against his cheekbones as he nuzzles further into the crook of his arm. Tobio’s heart strings wrap around his throat, gag his mouth. He swipes a nearby pillow and he dips his head, lips delicately brushing the white linen. Leaning into the skin-prickling heat, Tobio nudges the pillow into Shouyou’s other hand. His tiny fingers curl into the fabric and within seconds his whole body is wrapped around it.

Tobio smiles. He fixates his attention to his side of the pallet and his own arrangement of pillows.

“Tobio,” comes a weak call.

Tobio whips around, seeing Shouyou’s eyes half open. He’s tired, Tobio knows he has to be.

A corner of Shouyou’s lips twitches up and slowly, while maintaining eye contact, he presses his own kiss to the same spot Tobio had. Tobio’s eyes widen, inhaling sharply.

Neither of them say anything more. They simply lay down and go to sleep facing each other. Tobio’s edges become blurred and morph to the ground underneath him. He ignores it. The unspoken conversation hanging between them speaks louder than any real words could:

 _“I love you, Tobio._ ”

_“I love you too.”_

* * *

Shouyou wakes Tobio up before the sun rises.

“I’ll be back later tonight,” he says, donning his fancy robes and circlet. “You know the drill, yeah?”

Tobio nods sleepily. “Get some pillows and blankets for my camp at the bottom of the mountain. You’ll come get me once you get done with the ceremony here. I heard you the first five times you explained it, dumbass.”

“Right.” Shouyou chuckles, the sound thin. “Of course I did.”

“Don’t worry about me, stupid,” Tobio murmurs. “I can survive a day by myself on this island.”

Shouyou shakes his head, smile forced on his lips. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

They hike to the top of the mountain as the sky just begins to lighten. There’s little time to spare and therefore little time for a drawn-out goodbye.

“Well…” Tobio stutters awkwardly. “I guess you won’t be a god anymore but, uh, that doesn’t matter. I’ll…see you later.”

Shouyou stares at him blankly, almost methodically, stepping upon the peak of the mountain. He beckons Tobio closer and Tobio obeys without question. Shouyou bends, bordering a line he himself has never crossed and giving Tobio ample time to step back if he wants. “My final gift to you,” he whispers to the air above Tobio’s forehead. Both their eyes close. “Even now, I’m selfish.”

A brush against Tobio’s forehead, barely there, white hot, and burning, and then Tobio opens his eyes to nothing but the first rays of sunlight.

Tobio isn’t sure whether it’s the spot on his forehead that is dripping or if a couple stray tears escaped.

* * *

Tobio travels down the mountain gradually, frequently stopping to soak in the atmosphere of the island, of his home. He trails his fingers across every reachable surface, the tips of his wings dragging the ground behind him. Conceivably, there’s no way to commit every tiny speck to memory, especially not with such little time, but Tobio goes about his day acting as if he can.

He acts like he hasn’t already forgotten a few details by the time he lays down that evening.

* * *

He returns exactly one day from his initial departure.

Tobio awakens to the sound of Shouyou hitting the forest floor right next to him. Tobio jolts, reaching out to the unconscious body of the former god. He’s ragged, hair sticking out in every way possible, skin sickeningly pale, whole body shaking with effort.

“Gods, Shouyou,” Tobio agonizes, tugging a blanket out from under him and throwing it over Shouyou’s body. “How long have you been walking?”

“Eh,” Shouyou sniffs with a feeble smile. “It took me all night. What pathetic time, huh, Tobio?” 

Tobio digs frantically through the other stuff he brought, throwing all his blankets at the curled-up form next to him. “Idiot. You shouldn’t push yourself like that. You aren’t a god anymore. Stupid.”

A tremor wracks through Shouyou. “Yeah, I guess I’m not—“ another tiny chuckle “—but I had to get to you, you know?”

A pathetic whimper almost escapes Tobio’s throat. “Shut up. You need to sleep.”

“But what if—”

“Sh,” Tobio ventures closer. He leans against a tree, stretching his legs out near Shouyou. “I’m right here.”

Shouyou, despite his efforts and further mumblings, drifts off to sleep with one last shuddering breath. And he stays that way all day. Tobio doesn’t budge an inch.

Shouyou stirs minutes before sundown. He gasps, sitting bolt right and twisting to face Tobio. “It’s starting. I can feel it. Oh gods, I almost slept through it.”

He throws the blankets away from him and clumsily pulls himself to his feet. He blindly stumbles into a tree but presses on. Tobio hurries after him. “Wait, you’re going to hurt yourself. _Stop.”_

Shouyou doesn’t stop until his feet hit the first signs of sand. He leans against the last trees for support, heaving and sweating more than ever. “I ruined our last day here. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Tobio shushes him. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“But I did,” Shouyou swears. “I wanted everything to be happy and—” 

“Shouyou,” Tobio says firmly. Shouyou’s eyes, too glassy, meet Tobio’s. “I _am_ happy. Being with you it…it makes me happy.”

Shouyou bursts into tears, much to Tobio’s horror. _Shit_ _,_ he knows he’s bad at words, but he thought he had been getting better. But then Shouyou smiles; his face splits in half with its force and the tears creep around the corners. He gasps for air and his sobs shake his whole body but he’s _grinning_ from ear to ear. “You make me happy too. So, so happy, Tobio, you wouldn’t believe it.”

The sun sinks lower on the horizon, Shouyou’s strength seeping away with the light of day. He forces himself further down the beach, insisting the view would be better from the edge of the shore. He’s right, in a way. Tobio thinks the golden hour strikes against Shouyou’s hair like a wonderfully tuned bell, magnificent and breathtaking.

Tobio’s eyes begin to droop and all his muscles relax. He’s suddenly so very, very tired but, thinking of Shouyou, he jars himself awake, standing abruptly.

Shouyou peers straight into the sun. “I’m cold.”

“Come here,” Tobio croaks. Shouyou groggily turns towards him and reaches his arms up. Any sense of self-preservation is thrown into the vast recesses of the wind at that action. Tobio carefully wraps his fingers around Shouyou’s cooling skin and gently brings him to his feet. His wings knock the ground with the shift in weight and then, a strange idea pops into his head. “Do you want to fly?”

Shouyou blinks several times. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah,” Tobio says, stretching his wings. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just hold onto me.”

Shouyou wraps his arms around Tobio’s neck, heat quickly fading from his body and hardly affecting Tobio's waxen body at all. Shakily, Tobio lifts them both from the ground and takes flight. Shouyou gasps, amber eyes widening and focusing on the ground as Tobio takes them higher and higher above the ocean. Shouyou laughs. “This is amazing!”

Tobio smiles, not paying any mind to view below nor the drip of his wings as he flies closer to the sun. Shouyou’s grip tightens and his eyes are once again on Tobio. “Can we keep flying?”

Tobio huffs, “of course.”

“Even if it’s forever?”

Tobio presses their foreheads together, the last rays of sunlight slipping over the horizon. “Yeah. Even if it’s forever.”

They both smile and then Tobio doesn’t remember anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry >:


	8. Such is the story of life

His soul weaves throughout history.

It knows many lives, bodies, locations, tragedies, wars, and sometimes even forms of love.

Strangely enough, the things it knows best are the constellations and the color orange.

It is born loving these two things, time and time again without fail.

In every life, there is a figure that represents both of these things perfectly.

It’s as if its predisposition is to draw itself to this figure, like it cannot help it.

Like it is burning from the inside out even when its host isn’t sure why.

It never quite reaches that figure like it longs to, but it certainly tries its best.


	9. And in all this space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for this chapter so I'll make this note relatively short. There's a lot of references to past chapters in this and I just wanted to give a little heads up beforehand.
> 
> Also!! The lovely artist @tinysmallghost drew some [beautiful art](https://twitter.com/tinysmallghost/status/1316837157424697345?s=21) from the end of chapter 4!! Check them out :DD

Kageyama Tobio loves volleyball from the moment he's born. That’s what it feels like, at the very least. He dedicates nearly all of his free time to the sport, greedily soaking in any afforded practice time and tips his grandfather and sister would provide him. Tobio doesn't end up with many friends at school or anywhere else, but he doesn't need them to practice anyways.

He’s well on his way to being a talented setter and far surpassing his teammates by the time he reaches double digits. He loses the closest thing he has to a parental figure by the time he gets to his preteens. He loses the trust of his teammates by the time he’s in his teenage years.

That’s also when he meets Hinata Shouyou, a bundle of determination, athleticism, and love for the game. Something clicks in Tobio after seeing the sharp predatory glint in Hinata’s brown eyes for the first time. It’s like a sudden remembrance of where he is in a maze, finally slipping into position after minutes of frustrated mulling; not world-shattering, simply something turning _right._

Hinata has the stature of a libero and the dreams of an ace. His in-game sense certainly needs to work—his team only making points on account of Tobio’s team’s misgivings. Then he witnesses Hinata’s jump, the way he soars through the air, and his sense of direction is suddenly thrown askew. He’s distracted for that brief time, and it costs them a point.

Tobio wrestles to keep his mind in line, to focus on the game at hand. But something in the very dark back corners of his consciousness tugs at his attention; it claws its way to the forefront, jumping at the chance to take complete hold after the game and scream, _‘What have you been doing these past few years?_ ’ in the face of the scrawny boy across the net.

He almost regrets it but ultimately feels relief, like he sated a wild beast within him. That relief lasts the entire trek back to his apartment.

That night, Tobio dreams of the sky and a boy who longs to touch it.

* * *

Hinata Shouyou shows up to Karasuno in a flustered whirlwind of bright noise and loud colors. Tobio’s life only snowballs from there.

His new teammates teach him more about trust, volleyball, and friendship than he ever could have hoped for. Under the tutelage of his upperclassman and with a newfound partner at his side, he more than endures his first year—he _thrives._

Weird sentences slip from his mouth more often than he’d like—some of it due to his own cognition and some because of the other _thing_ that has continually lurked in the back of his brain since the day he met Hinata. He spouts things he shouldn’t have the courage to say or should at least be embarrassing but he isn’t bothered. They’re _facts._ Even though those ‘facts’ involve him telling Hinata that together they are invincible.

(An alternate version appears in his dream that night, starting with the simple question: _“Do you think we could conquer the sky if we tried to?”_ )

Another example being when they devote themselves to meeting one another at the top.

_(“When I say things, they mean something to this world for whatever reason. Making promises is the most powerful thing I have at my disposal…”)_

These types of situations pop up every once in a while, and déjà vu comes the closest to describing his experiences. Like he’s lived this before but not _quite_ this way or like he’s almost remembering a dream but can’t quite grab ahold of it. And nearly exclusively, these pseudo-memories cuff him after he’s around Hinata.

It’s unnatural, it’s _weird_ to have so much of his brain wrapped around an orange-shorty he doesn’t even get along with that well.

Luckily, the dreaming isn’t so frequent that it’s a problem or a distraction during the day. The most that happens while he's awake are the instances where he'll see vibrant green leaves peeking through the concrete and it will strike something within his brain; words he doesn’t even know how to pronounce start float around like mud and water, diluted and unclear. Other than that, it is something he doesn't have any real troubles living with.

It’s just weird. He doesn’t know of any other word to use besides a simplistic _weird._

But everything truly starts to go to hell during his second year.

* * *

Hinata becomes a more prominent figure in his personal life during their second year. That is to say, outside of volleyball and attempted study sessions.

Hinata will tease him sometimes then all he can dream is _“You’re so weird”_ or _“Meanie-yama”_ in a muffled version of his voice. Tobio can brush it off fairly easily when he has school and practice to distract him but when he gets even the slightest bit of breathing room, he’s a lost cause. It starts extending across several days rather than individual nights.

He trudges to school with drooping eyes and too many cartons of milk sloshing in his stomach. Tobio only livens up during his races with Hinata, that’s the only time he can summon the energy in those days. Being in Hinata’s presence both soothes and aggravates portions of himself he didn’t know could even function.

He’s the most simplistic yet complicated specimen this planet has to offer. Hinata bounces, smiles, and babbles about stupid things all the time. He gets aggravated at Tsukishima weekly, joins in the ruckus caused by the third years (namely Tanaka and Nishinoya), and throws himself onto unsuspecting targets like Yamaguchi and Yachi. But with Tobio his behavior can almost be described as erratic.

Hinata fluctuates, adapts to people’s emotions like its ingrained into him, but the highs and lows of Hinata are demonstrated best while he’s with Tobio. One second, he’s shrieking, whether in excitement or in anger depends on the day, then abruptly he stops, staring at Tobio for several moments then blurting something out—probably of the stupid variety.

Even with all these layers of convoluted emotions and half-assed observations, Tobio knows what lies underneath all that: a minute, tiny, maybe, kind of crush on Hinata. It’s _small_ _._ Barely noticeable, really with all the other stuff he’s dealing with. But it’s _there._ And it’s irritating as hell.

Because when he recognizes what those soft rushes of affection mean, he regains his sense of direction again.

Tobio begrudgingly falls into the habit of inviting Hinata into his life, much to the surprise and delight of the tangerine himself. They walk home together, spend some weekends together, and sometimes sleep over as well. It’s comfortable and familiar, despite their on-going pledges to out-do each other.

To Tobio, Hinata isn’t exactly a friend. He’s a partner and the greatest rival; that means so much more to him than the simple title of “friend” could ever have. He doesn’t have to adjust himself because Hinata meets him in the middle every single time. If he loses his focus for a single second, Hinata will be eight yards ahead of him before he can snap back into place. Tobio feels a thrill, deep and unparalleled, when thinking of Hinata.

* * *

By the time Tobio is in his third year, he has friends, better social skills, and a fully realized horde of romantic feelings towards Hinata Shouyou.

What can he say? He had been _very wrong_ about the size of his crush and by his third year, Tobio is dangerously close to crossing the line into love. The dreams happen nearly every night and the words echo in his brain throughout the day but now he has other, _real,_ memories to replace those with. And he’s happy. Tobio is very happy he’s falling in love with Hinata—there isn’t anyone else it really could’ve been at this point in his life.

Hinata has grown into a little bit of a flirt when it comes to their interactions off of the court. On the court, they are close partners, picking and pushing at each other in a harsh but well-meaning manner. Away from their practices, however, when they’re alone, Hinata is extremely touchy.

Tobio passes it off as the friendliness he exudes towards Yamaguchi, Yachi, and their underclassmen (sometimes Tsukishima too). Then though, he’s less sure when he concludes he can’t know how Hinata acts when he’s alone with his other friends, so he doesn’t have much comparison.

It’s frustrating to say the least. The back and forth Tobio’s mind tosses around trying to decide what any of Hinata’s actions could mean.

All he knows for sure is that Hinata has a smile of starlight and the personality of an imploding sun. And Tobio adores it.

Then, like the dawn of day, the cause of all the colors splattering across the sky is revealed to Tobio in one fell swoop.

* * *

It’s Saturday afternoon and Tobio is truly doing his best to study. He's gotten better at it, especially when he’s not in the presence of Hinata, a creature made for the sole purpose of distracting him. (When Hinata isn’t mocking him, he’s actively searching for a way to be in contact with Tobio, which he clearly knows is utterly distracting if his stupid tongue-in-cheek grin is anything to go by.)

He’s mindlessly thumbing through an English book he’s been assigned, letting the slick pages lethargically slip from his fingers. His body is drained after a morning workout and hours of attempted study and unconsciousness pricks at the back of his eyelids. He releases the pages, sigh escaping him as he roughly drags his fingers down his face.

Tobio tries to slam the book closed but something catches his attention. The section is about multiple cultures' different versions of old mythological gods with crackling cave paintings and even a few modern depictions. The main figureheads are thoroughly inspected and put in the context of other people’s beliefs; and the other, less important gods, are given a brief overview.

Automatically, Tobio searches for the god of the sun. He wants to see how other people imagine the sun personified versus his own conceptions (obnoxiously wild hair, short, wide smile that outshines the sun they govern over). He scoffs, the sheer amount of information on Apollo mildly disappointing. He skims through the section, uninterested and bored yet again. Tobio glosses over all the other gods as if he’s disconnected with his body. Then, one of the pictures hook him. Tobio blinks roughly, squinting as he brings the book closer.

It's a portrait from the shoulders up; it’s seen better days, the lines are cracked and weather-damaged, the parchment itself is browning with age. The colors are dirt-streaked and disgusting versions of their former selves. The only portion of it that’s nearly untouched is the eyes. The strokes of amber and gold glint, stark from the rest of the face which he could hardly make out.

Trembling fingertips trace the edges of the photo. Tobio’s heart is frozen, unmoving under the gaze of those eyes he’s so familiar with. He can’t shake the thought that they aren’t simply similar to Hinata’s, they _are_ Hinata’s—as ridiculous as that sounds. Everything, from the basic colors down to the playful gleam, exudes Hinata.

He looks at the caption. The picture is the artist’s vision of a star god incarnation but, other than that, the origin of the photo is a mystery. Strange. Tobio associates the warm tint of the painting with the sun rather than the stars.

_“Is the sun not a star, Kageyama?”_

Tobio slams the book shut with a harsh exhale. He’s insane. He can’t let these dreams and illusions tiptoe into his awake mind. Tobio presses the heels of his palms to his temples as he stares at his lap. God, even the faded gray of his sweatpants is starting to remind him of… _something—_ almost as if the color belongs elsewhere but he can’t fucking remember.

Tobio squeezes his eyes shut and sighs again.

He can’t talk to anyone about this either. Suga, ever involved in his studies, told Tobio he had an important midterm coming up; Oikawa and Iwaizumi are both abroad—in fact, most of the upperclassmen he could possibly talk to aren’t nearby or readily available. (That particular thought is slightly disappointing but Tobio also has a light swelling in his chest that feels an awful lot like pride.)

He could maybe try Tadashi, though the possibility of this information landing in Tsukishima’s hands is not ideal in the slightest. Yachi, it would seem, is his best bet and, honestly, should have been his go-to.

Hinata is typically the first person he approaches with personal matters. However, in this case, he can’t help but imagine how awkward and stilted the conversation would be. He dreams _because_ of Hinata for god’s sake. He cannot for the life of him figure out why.

They don’t even seem like dreams anymore, which is all the more reason for Tobio to keep this matter relatively quiet until he figures it out. That, and, embarrassingly enough, he often wakes up with an erratically beating heart, a small wet spot on his pillow, and swollen eyes.

Tobio reaches for his phone, already drafting his message to Yachi, when he spots something already in his inbox.

_2 messages_.

 ** _Boke:_** **_hey yamayama!_**

 ** _Boke:_** **_can you meet me in the park?_**

Tobio hums, tapping his fingers against the device in his hands as he considers. He really should get back to his school work, he doesn’t want to pay the price of inadequate grades (not being able to play volleyball). But on the other hand, he _really_ likes hanging out with Hinata, even if all they ever do is practice and study.

Another text pops up.

**_Boke:_** **_not to practice tho. i just wanna see you_**

****

The fluttering in his chest is so sickeningly sweet, he knows exactly what he’s going to choose the moment he finishes reading. He’ll text Yachi later.

**_fine. i’ll be there in 10_ **

**_Boke:_** **_:DDDD_**

A smile subconsciously forms on his lips and stays there the entire walk to the park.

* * *

The creaking of a bike chain alerts Tobio to Hinata’s presence before he can say anything. Tobio is already splayed out on the grass, hands behind his head, since he knows that they’ll end up in this spot regardless of where he initially settles. That, and the first sparkles of starlight are beginning to dot the sky. The sight never fails to take his breath away no matter how many times he sees it.

An orange silhouette pops into his field of vision. Attached to it is the world’s largest grin gleaming in the dim light. The overgrown mass of hair flops like a sloppy halo around Hinata’s head, the evening sky acting as the perfect backdrop.

“Hiya,” Hinata chuckles.

Tobio reaches out to tug on a loose curl that had fallen in front of Hinata’s face. “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry,” Hinata dramatically falls to the ground next to Tobio. “Little sisters, you know?”

Tobio scoffs, automatically shifting closer to Hinata’s warm arm. Lucky bastard doesn’t even have to wear a jacket at night, unlike the perpetually chilly Tobio. “I don’t.”

“Ooooh, that’s right,” Hinata teases with a nudge. “You _are_ the little sister.”

Tobio shoves Hinata away from him. Hinata only cackles. “Shut up,” Tobio mumbles.

Hinata gravitates to his original place, pressing his arm flush against Tobio’s. He tries to speak through his giggles. “Youngest sibling and youngest third year on the team.”

“At least I’m not an old man,” Tobio retorts. “How much longer do you think you’ll be able to jump at your age?”

“I’m going to jump like this until I’m like, at _least_ 90.”

Tobio raises a brow. “90?”

Hinata nods, hair falling away from his forehead. Tobio has the strange urge to poke the pale expanse of skin. “Yup! Maybe even older.” Hinata tilts his gaze towards Tobio. “Will you?”

Tobio swallows. “I’ll be able to longer than you will.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Hinata’s sudden melancholy shift raises uneasiness from Tobio’s stomach. His mouth goes dry. “You okay?”

Hinata sucks in a deep breath and doesn’t exhale for several seconds. When he does, he turns on his side, using his arm to keep his head from the ground. Tobio moves to match him, ignoring the prodding at the back of his head telling him that this is all so familiar. (But even that portion of him knows that they have never had such little space between them.)

“Kageyama,” Hinata whispers, his bronze eyes travelling lower. Tobio’s cheeks are lit aflame and his heart functions in over-time. “I’ve decided I’m going to train in Brazil after high school. So, I’ll…I’ll be leaving for a while.”

_“I have to leave for a couple days.”_

Tobio’s lungs freeze. No, this can’t happen right now. He already has to process this new information Hinata is feeding and now his brain is doing this again? So intensely for the second time that day? He can’t breathe.

“Kageyama?”

_“The next incarnate will take my place soon.”_

Shut _up._ So much is happening at once. It’s like there are three versions of him warring at each other, fighting for whoever gets to respond to this crucial reveal. Three different sets of emotions are swirling throughout his body and forcing any words down through his diaphragm.

“Kageyama.”

_“There’s some, uh, meeting or whatever that I have to go to.”_

_But he was lonely while he was gone. So very, very lonely._

Tobio shoots up, curling in on himself, head pounding with thoughts and images that don’t belong to him.

“Kageyama!”

_“I’m burning, Tobio.”_

If they aren’t his then why do they feel like they are? Why are they constantly itching to be released, to be remembered?

_He’s flying. He’s melting. His back strains with the extra weight of limbs he wasn’t born with. His skin is on fire. He’s on fire._

_“I_ **_will_** _come home.”_

Home. He needs to go home. Where is that? Is it here in the suburbs of Japan? Or is it in a glass gazebo that harbors the sun and stars?

“I…” Tobio stammers. “I have to go.”

Something reaches for him. “Wait, Kageyama! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner!”

 _“It’s my fault. I’m…oh gods, I’m so sorry, Tobio.”_

_“I’m sorry I brushed you off like that.”_

“No, please stop,” Tobio begs, rams the heels of his palms into his closed eyes. “Stop apologizing to me.”

_“I have to. I’m so sorry but I don’t have a choice.”_

Tobio stumbles in his scramble to get away. He’s shaking, he doesn’t have control over his words. “I should be sorry—” what is he saying? “I’m sorry I never told you—” _who_ is speaking? “—when I had the chance.” And _why won’t they get out of his head?_

“Kageyama, I don’t think you should walk home like this.”

_“You probably don’t want to walk in the dark. Unless you’d rather fly?”_

“No. I’m fine.” He doesn’t know who’s speaking there. Maybe himself. Maybe a replay of something long forgotten. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Tobio knows Hinata yells after him but Hinata’s voice mixes with the one identical to his, the voice of the star god that haunts him.

* * *

As Tobio predicted, he dreams that night.

He’s on an island. A beautiful island that any vacationer would die to have the chance to visit. It is here on this island that Tobio decides to remain, to marinate in his bitterness and where he plans to die all alone.

It is also here on this island where Tobio meets someone. The first person he’s talked to in centuries, and the first person he’s ever wanted to love.

He’s a boy with fiery hair and joy etched into his skin; white shirt falling loosely around his short frame and his feet bare. His impish smile makes the heavens themselves brighten.

 _“My name,”_ he says, _“is Hinata Shouyou.”_

And while Tobio sleeps, he _remembers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh....this AU is actually kind of canon compliant? Surprise?
> 
> Anyways, one more chapter left to go!! I hope you guys are excited <33


	10. Infinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobio remembers.

Tobio awakens with a start, gasping several laboring breaths before sitting up. They are his memories. They’ve always been his memories and he’s _aching._ He feels…he _needs_ to—

_Shouyou._

Tobio swipes at his eyes and leaps from his bed, throwing on an old hoodie and running shoes haphazardly. He numbly grabs his keys and his phone before sprinting full speed out of the door and into the dark morning.

His heartbeat thrums lively against his chest. He doesn’t have wings, but he feels like he could take flight with the airy eagerness pumping through his veins. He sprints down the empty sidewalks of Miyagi until he gets to the bottom of the mountain where Hinata lived.

“That bastard,” Tobio wheezes. “Still lives on top of a fucking mountain.”

He evens his pace from then on, so he can breathe properly but he still moves much quicker than would normally be advised for such a steep slope. Tobio finally thinks to check his phone knowing that a slew of notifications await him. He cringes when he sees the amounts (and that it is 4:22 AM).

_5 missed calls._

_4 voicemails._

_13 messages._

All of them are from Hinata, tinged with various amounts of concern for his wellbeing and trying to make sure he made it home safely. Tobio’s guilt stings in his exerted lungs and he shoots a quick, typo-ridden message to Hinata.

**_ill b at ur hoyse n 10_ **

****

Tobio shoves his device back into his pocket and zips forward in another burst of energy.

He reaches Hinata’s house in what seems like seconds. Tobio is about to start knocking frantically when his phone chimes.

**_Boke:_** **_wth yama. your lucky im awake_**

 ** _Boke:_** **_when you get here, come to my window. front door is squeaky_**

****

Tobio leaps over the edge of the porch and swivels down the house. Hinata’s head is poking out of the opened window, eyes swollen and bleary, hair an utter rat’s nest. His eyebrows try to knit together and raise at the same time, his shoulders are stiff with sleep. Against the dimming night sky, he’s never looked more beautiful.

“What the hell, Kageyama?” He sniffs and runs the back of his hand under his nose. “You leave me in the middle of the park when I tell you something _important to me—”_

Tobio winces at this.

“Then,” Hinata continues, trying to maintain a whisper with increasing difficulty. “Then you don’t answer any of my calls and texts and have me waiting up half the night to make sure you’re okay—!”

“I was wrong,” Tobio interrupts. “It was wrong of me to do that without explaining why and I’m sorry. I’m glad you have this opportunity.”

Tobio marches to stand in front of Hinata, tilting his head up to fully see him. Hinata relaxes more into the window frame with a large t-shirt hanging loosely off one of his shoulders. His face is pale, and bags are heavy underneath his eyes. “Is that what you came here for?”

Tobio’s hands ball into fists and his teeth grit. He hadn’t considered that Hinata himself didn’t remember being a star god in his past life. But, even so, he’s come too far to let this go now. “Do you…remember me?”

“What kind of question is that?” Hinata says quietly. His eyes flash, lips twitching.

“Because I remember you,” blurts Tobio. “I, uh…I remember everything that happened. I’ve been trying to figure it out since we first met but last night brought back…a lot.” Hinata blinks. Tobio curses at himself and his eyes dart everywhere in search of _anything_ that could help him explain this better. He _really_ should have planned more on the way over.

Finally, he steels himself and simply lets himself speak. “I promise to keep flying with you or towards you, even if I melt and fall. I promise to rise and set with you, as long as you’ll let me. I _promise._ You don’t have to know what I mean, just know that I mean it.”

Hinata lets out a shaky breath. Tobio raises his hands in front of him and steps back. “Shit, that didn’t make a lot of sense, um—”

A small hand cups his cheek, gently, almost unsure. Tobio peers up at Hinata. His eyes are golden and shiny, with crinkles around their edges with the force of his grin. He laughs wetly. “Took you long enough, Tobio.”

Tobio doesn’t know who moved first, all he does know is that the two of them collided in a brilliant clash of emotions and bed head, wrapping their arms tightly around one another in a forceful hug. Tobio is too elated to accurately describe everything that he’s going through. He's finally escaped whatever maze had been keeping him hostage and he stands free of any wall. And before him, reveals a picturesque view he’s satisfied he could be a part of.

They both begin to laugh, muffled by each other’s shoulders and Hinata still hanging out the window. Slowly, Tobio pulls back, only enough to press their foreheads together. “Hi, Shouyou.”

Shouyou sniffs and laughs, wiping at his face. “Hi, Tobio. I thought you’d never remember.”

“Me too,” Tobio admits, rubbing his thumb across Shouyou’s jaw.

“I thought I’d done something wrong,” Shouyou croaks. “The last thing I did before giving up my power was promise that we’d meet again. I tried to entwine our souls or something cheesy like that, but this is the closest we’ve been to our original lives.”

Tobio meets Shouyou’s gaze. “It worked. You did it.”

Shouyou laughs, high pitched and delighted. “Of course it did. I was the best star god ever.”

“Sure you were.”

“You’re still so rude to me,” Shouyou whines, grasping at Tobio’s shoulders with nimble fingers. “You’d think you would have learned by now.”

Tobio rolls his eyes.

“I’m getting kinda uncomfortable like this can we—”

Tobio surges forward before Shouyou can back away in a sudden bout of courage and kisses him. It hurts for a moment because Tobio is clumsy and _gods,_ he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But then Hinata’s hands clench the front of his shirt to pull him closer and Tobio swears his heart goes up in flames in that very instant.

Tobio is flying, he’s melting, and he’s _falling_ all at once, but he doesn’t care. All that matters are the sliding of calloused hands against his chest traveling up his neck to bury themselves into his hair. Everything he needs is in the moment he moves his lips, where a small sigh breathes against Tobio’s mouth and fingers tighten around dark strands. This can’t be real. Through the haze of heat buzzing in his head he just _knows_ he’s going to wake up at any moment.

He pulls away, urging Shouyou to move into a less straining position with a small smile adorning his face. “I love you. I loved you then too.”

Shouyou laughs again, very loud but still had Tobio’s stomach in knots. “Stupid, I knew that,” Shouyou beams down at him, just as bright and full of life as the first day they met each other. He gingerly moves Tobio’s fringe and kisses his forehead. “You know I love you. Times two.”

Tobio pinches his small nose then tugs at a stray curl. Shouyou yelps and giggles as he tries to swat Tobio’s hands away.

Tobio grins, loving and fond and all rough around the edges.

He knows the sky is grinning too as the sun rises alongside them.

* * *

_How far is the furthest star?_   
_Beyond what we see,_   
_Time cannot tell_   
_If we rise or we fall._   
_We are cast about,_   
_Futile and blind,_   
_With our fortunes made of dust;_   
_Such is the story of life_   
_And in all this space:_

_Infinity_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titles are all from a writing exercise I did a while back, where I took all the most impactful words from a poem and arranged them into something different. So that's what was at the end there.
> 
> Cue the sappy portion of this note!  
> I....wow. I've had this work in my mind and been working on this bit by bit since January. It took me a while to finish it and even longer to post it but now it's completely out there?? I have so many emotions right now aaaaaa.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has supported this fic, whether that be outwardly or silently. I love all of you immensely and I appreciate you so much. <3 I hope you all have a wonderful day/evening and I would love to hear your thoughts. If you want to scream at me more, my twitter is here. Aaaaand yeah! Thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand there's chapter 1! I have a twitter and that's where I usually am nowadays (though I'm very bad at social media) so if you ever wanna shout at me about Haikyuu or Kagehina then you can do so there!
> 
> Twitter: meettheroyalmes
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved and appreciated. Hope you liked it and that you have a wonderful day/evening! <3


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